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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28270185">Take a Chance On Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/floofdjh/pseuds/floofdjh'>floofdjh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Amazingphil - Freeform, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Dan and Phil Games, DanAndPhilGAMES, Daniel Howell - Freeform, M/M, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, Phil Lester - Freeform, RuPaul’s Drag Race - Freeform, danisnotonfire - Freeform, dragqueen, floofdjh, phanfic, rpdr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:22:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,839</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28270185</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/floofdjh/pseuds/floofdjh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(cover by @futurebunnyfluff on insta💛)</p>
<p>PJ's new job introduces his friend Phil to an experience like no other, where he meets Dan. To Phil, Dan is the most intense crush he's ever fallen for. But to Dan, Phil is just a birthday hookup that he doesn't mind sticking around. This causes problems not only between the two, but everyone around them. Also, Dan's a drag queen...and has conflicting feelings about love.</p>
<p>use #flooftacom on insta for posts + thoughts about the fic!!!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Howell/Phil Lester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. writer’s notes (intro)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hello!</p><p>i would like to reiterate how thankful i am for the support of my last fic, better than me! it ended up being such an incredible journey and i'm so excited to be starting another one!!! cheers *stabs straw in capri sun and lifts it up*<br/>*clinks against your drink of choice*</p><p>welcome along the journey of my brand new fic!!!!</p><p>i have had this fic in the works literally since the finale of rupaul's drag race season 10 (which was like at the end of june 2018) it started with very, very crappy rough drafts written even before better than me, my last fic, was even posted, but now, it is finally time for a new story.</p><p>i am pouring my heart and soul into this damn fic and have been for the past couple years. i didn't think anyone else would really care about this au until i started talking to my best friend guad in september of 2018, and since then, we have fueled a creative fire that i never thought was possible. i've had some other lovely friends and mutuals help me out as well, and like last time i will definitely be open to having people proofread for me, suggest ideas, etc.</p><p>anyway, i write the scenes, my best friend draws the artwork, and together we bounce ideas back and forth. i am in love with this au and i'm so excited to share it with you all: dan as a drag queen.</p><p>this fic has so much invested into it, because it is probably the furthest from irl i've ever written before. i know that you guys will want it to be updated more often, and to be longer, but please understand that a lot is being taken into consideration. unfortunately i cannot promise when the fic will be updated or when it will finish, because of how much i have to create on my own in this au.</p><p>here are some quick examples:<br/>- bitch i've never been to a real bar club! or even fucking london! and i have to come up with what it looks like and shit<br/>- describing frequent, detailed outfit changes across most characters<br/>- flat characters are way more prominent in this fic, it's phil's pov this time and there's a new oc. their identity, behaviors, lifestyle, etc. is new to me and i've never really had one before, and also he is a person of color so i want to be sure he is represented well.<br/>- making sure you guys who are unfamiliar with drag can understand what's going on. if you have any questions or need clarification i will answer them without judgement!<br/>- a whole different plot line<br/>- and so on</p><p>i am also sort of writing this fic like a tv show or movie. phil is the main protagonist of this fic. he will be the main person written about and you will know how he feels. but you will also get scenes of other characters occasionally, getting to read what they are saying and doing, but not always what they are feeling, leaving their thoughts and emotions to your own imagination and inferencing. but i'll try and make it clear in case anyone gets confused.</p><p>also in attempt to make it easier to understand i will be doing parts, not all chapters. so like if a whole scene is really long it'll be a chapter by itself, but sometimes i'll update with a chunk of three parts or something</p><p>lyrics will be incorporated into the writing from time to time as well, reflecting the "scene", how the characters feel, etc. (if you have any song suggestions PLEASE feel free to comment them. i would love to aim for the majority of the chapter titles/themes to be around a song, especially ~gay~ ones)</p><p>thank you all so much for being supportive. i get nervous because one time my drag queen edit was reposted on a flop account, but then i remind myself of all of the positive comments i've gotten that i read all the time and they majorly outweigh the negativity i've received. i hope this fic will brighten your day with all the funny, sarcastic, smutty, angering, fluffy, and tear-jerky moments it provides.</p><p>this fic might require some stepping out of a comfort zone for some of you. it did for me, too, but i knew how badly i wanted everything to make sense and for this fic to work out so i pushed past it, i kept thinking of it the way it was supposed to be over and over until in my head i was okay with it. so take the time to open your mind up without being judgemental and complaining. try it. it's just a creation, an idea, it can't hurt you. and if you don't end up liking it, just move on with your life, don't keep your sourpuss attitude here judging for no reason. thanks.</p><p>one last thing: please be safe you guys!!! for some reason the homicide rate in my home city (houston area) has been increasing and it's been worrying me! stay safe, wear your mask, wash your hands, drink water, and give your pet(s) a little *pat pat* on the head for me. </p><p>2020 has been such a shit year, so i hope this can improve it a little for you.</p><p>lurv,<br/>avery floof dad</p><p>(TLDR: thank you for reading my last fic. i'm excited to start this one. the writing structure is kind of like a movie or tv show. if you have any questions, ask)</p><p>(inspiration for first smut scene from strangers by waveydnp. name of the bar inspired by l'histoire française by danfanciesphil.)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I. The Note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter notes: i'm deadass posting these first parts at work bc i've been so tired and busy i'm so sorry. thank you to the 98% of the population for being kind to retail workers especially during the holidays. enjoy and let me know your thoughts along the way!!!</p><p>-floof dad</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Two weeks?!"</p><p>A room full of half-decorated drag queens were all overlooking the shoulder of queen with a letter in her hands.</p><p>"I told ya. They've been closin' down every building on this street for months now," one queen with a heavy accent said very matter-of-factly. "It was bound to 'appen to us."</p><p>"Reckon we've got a place to go?" another asked the group. Her makeup was half done, and a pair of tights were pulled up over her hips. </p><p>"I'm trying to figure it out," the queen holding the note said, "Construction for a new building being bought is presumed to begin—"</p><p>"Presumed? This must be a sick joke, I've got bills to pay."</p><p>"To begin...mid February? They're bloody kidding, giving us two weeks' notice that we won't have shows for months."</p><p>"When's it ought to be done by?"</p><p>"Oh, my god. June. It fucking says June," she huffed, then turned towards the corner of the room. "Danny, love, did you hear us?"</p><p>The one differing Australian accent of the group spoke, "I'll get her. She's got music in, she's beatin' her face."</p><p>Snatching up the note, the queen trotted off to the corner. "Ay."</p><p>'Danny' took some airpods out. "What're you all chatting about?"</p><p>"They're shuttin' the building down and movin' us out."</p><p>"No way...what? How?"</p><p>"I dunno. Here, read it."</p><p>Similar to the queen before, he shouted, "Two fucking weeks? They think we'll last for months without any gigs with money from a couple of weeks?"</p><p>"Fucked up, innit?"</p><p>"New one's not s'posed to be opened up til 'round your birthday, Danny," one queen said.</p><p>Danny scoffed, "Fucking hell."</p><p>The queens talked about it for a while, sighing and huffing.</p><p>"Might as well call me mum and tell her to have a bed ready for me like this."</p><p>"Just doesn't sit right with me. Not one bit."</p><p>"If I hear one bartender bitch about this, I'll be so pissed. It's easy for them to find another pub to tend at, try being a fucking crossdresser making a living, eh? In bloody London as well?"</p><p>The queen who originally had the note cleared her throat loudly, quieting them all down. Awkwardly, they sat at their makeup stations around the cluttered dressing room, all annoyed and confused, and definitely too upset to continue getting ready. </p><p>"Who's the bloke who decided on this shite anyway?" a queen with a brightly colored wig huffed. </p><p>"Shag whoever he is to save us?" the Australian queen joked, "For the gays."</p><p>"You cunt. No way. I'll bet it's some carny ol' fucker. More a chance of me shitting in the queen's handbag than wound up on his lap."</p><p>They all cackled at that, collectively imagining it and laughing even more.</p><p>"What about you, Danny?"</p><p>"Me? No," Danny cringed, "No way in hell."</p><p>"Just a quick nosh on 'im, Danny."</p><p>"Yeah, take one for the team," the Aussie queen elbowed Danny jokingly.</p><p>"Oh, fuck off, would you?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. II. The Meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Trails of raindrops fell down the glass window, followed by Phil's finger one by one. He watched outside as the rain poured down onto the concrete and the sky rumbled with gloomy clouds. Whatever PJ wanted to see him about, he had no idea, especially with this kind of weather. And he made Phil ditch an early meeting to see him for breakfast, so he hoped it would better be worth it. </p><p>"There you are."</p><p>Phil looked up to see PJ approaching the booth, his clothes and hair drenched. His shoes squeaked against the tiles of the coffee shop as he slid into the booth across from Phil, pulling his bag off of his shoulders and setting it down beside him.</p><p>PJ's voice was wheezy, "Sorry."</p><p>Phil just raised his brow, pulling his sleeve back to look at his watch.</p><p>"Don't give me that look. Aren't you happy to see me?" PJ questioned with a smile. Eventually caving, Phil's lips curled into a smile as well.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Good, good, now I know I was late, so let's just get to the main thing I want to chat about," PJ said, "I need your help on a job decision."</p><p>"Let's hear it," Phil tugged his sleeve back up, watching the waitress come by. They ordered themselves each coffee and began to talk.</p><p>"So, I have been looking into a management position," PJ began to explain, "It will be at a new...hold on."</p><p>PJ magically pulled out a map of London from his bag, making Phil crease his eyebrows and tilt his head.</p><p>"There are two bars that are being merged together," he pointed out, "This one."</p><p>Trying to make sense of the map, Phil watched as PJ's fingers moved across the smooth paper. The streets twisted and turned mindlessly around, buildings aligning them in all different shapes and sizes.</p><p>"And this one. And a new club is going to be right...here," he made a circle with pen.</p><p>"Right next to the station?" Phil asked, "Really?"</p><p>"Yeah," PJ replied, "It's a big building, and I guess something happened to whatever was there before. They say it will be much easier access to visit, blah blah blah...I honestly think it might just be for tourist attraction."</p><p>Phil studied the map, "And the two older ones?"</p><p>"Probably being sold to be made into more new apartments no one can afford," PJ sighed. "Anyway, not the point."</p><p>A loud whip-like sound made Phil jump as he saw PJ place down another large piece of paper, which appeared to be blueprints.</p><p>"So these are the plans for the new club," PJ spread out the blueprints. "It will be called...The Cat and Bear."</p><p>The waitress' red lips were pursed as she placed two mugs of coffee down onto the paper, PJ yelping and picking up coasters to put underneath them. She apologized awkwardly and walked away, but Phil thanked her, picking up his mug and sitting back against the booth.</p><p>"The Cat and Bear," Phil repeated, sipping his coffee. </p><p>"This is the entrance, right?" PJ's fingers danced across the paper as he emphasized every detail. He uncapped a marker, labeling each part of the building with symbols and letters. "Bathrooms are here, in the front, and there's some in the back...and then there's..."</p><p>"What is the actual job part, PJ?" Phil asked with a chuckle.</p><p>"Okay, so they're offering management positions. One for the actual bar. Drinks, stools, bartenders, menu, all that, which is here," PJ wrote down a #1 and sketched something that looked like a counter and then some stools. "Then, it's going to have a VIP lounge, which is here."</p><p>Quickly, his hands worked to write a #2 and doodle some other shapes. "So that person will be in charge of the VIP guests, furniture, and perks."</p><p>He began to write #3 in a different area, "This is three, the dance floor. There will be someone in charge of providing the lights, music and speakers specifically for this area."</p><p>The sweet taste of coffee burned Phil's tongue as PJ looked up with his creativity shining through his captivating eyes. "Are you following?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah," Phil said as he placed his mug down, "But what is the position you are looking for? And that huge empty area you haven't marked yet?"</p><p>PJ grew a smile from ear to ear. "Stage production."</p><p>"Stage production," Phil repeated, his tone unsure. "There's going to be stage production. At a bar."</p><p>"Not just a bar, a club...well, a burlesque—kind of—club," PJ corrected as more papers went flying across the table again. "Hear me out. They need someone to manage the production—backdrops, stage materials, lighting, music, and I'll kind of be like an agent of the performers."</p><p>"And who is it that will be performing?" Phil asked.</p><p>"Drag queens!" PJ yelled excitedly.</p><p>PJ and Phil looked around the diner to see a bunch of people staring at them.</p><p>"Drag queens," Phil said, sounding unamused.</p><p>"I'd get to manage all of the theater tech geek stuff," PJ explained, "And the queens. So, what do you think?"</p><p>Phil deeply sighed and widened his eyes, picking up his mug and taking a long sip.</p><p>"Your professional opinion," PJ requested.</p><p>Phil cleared his throat and said, "My professional opinion is no."</p><p>PJ took the first sip of his coffee, cringing at how the liquid had gotten cold from him ignoring it. "No?"</p><p>"No," Phil shook his head, "New businesses aren't usually a good employment choice, because the original places are going to want to keep their good workers and let their less employable workers leave. Especially if they're merging, there's probably going to be rivalry, and...no offense, but they're drag queens, so..."</p><p>Phil clenched his teeth and cringed, finding it hard to be brutally honest to his friend.</p><p>"I know it may be risky, but..." PJ reasoned. "I need to be creative, Phil! This nine to five office job isn't good enough anymore."</p><p>Phil rubbed his jaw, "I wouldn't recommend it, Peej. How much money will you be making?"</p><p>"Not much, from the beginning..." PJ admitted. "But it'll get better, don't you think, Phil?"</p><p>"I dunno," he muttered.</p><p>PJ pouted a little. "I really want to do more creative stuff. Something new and fun. Particularly audio and video...but managing actual performers will be cool too, like in the movies."</p><p>"Well, this is London, Peej," Phil chuckled, "Not Hollywood. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you asked for my opinion, and I gave it to you."</p><p>"How much was this actually related to your career?"</p><p>"Not much."</p><p>"Okay, then why don't you do more of your career?" PJ asked, Phil looking offended for a second. "Sorry mate, not what I meant. I meant, do more of your thing...can you look into the business and economic part of it? Do some of your PR magic, see how good the people I'll be working with are?"</p><p>"Fine. I'll call some people, get some data, and let you know."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. III. The Visit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With Phil's help, PJ had decided to take the job. Phil even helped provide some money and labor from work, which shortened the length of the project. The club was due to be finished at the beginning of June, so in May, PJ took Phil there to show him around.</p><p>There was still some cosmetic work to be done, like painting, furniture, and things like that, but the outside still looked pretty appealing, although unfinished.</p><p>"Welcome...to The Cat and Bear," PJ said dramatically, opening the door for Phil to enter. Phil nodded, walking in and looking around as PJ followed behind him, "Why are you all dressed up, mate?"</p><p>"I'm technically working," Phil explained, looking down at his outfit. He compared his button up shirt and tie to PJ's casual outfit of a graphic tee and colorful jacket. "Could this not count as business casual?"</p><p>"Don't worry about it, you're just going to be the only dressed up one here," PJ told him. Right as he said so, Phil noticed the only people around them were construction workers, painters, and other people busy on their own tasks. They were installing lights, painting walls silver, pulling up old flooring—so much was going on at once. It didn't seem close to being done, but according to PJ it was.</p><p>PJ gave Phil a lengthy tour of the place, getting especially enthusiastic when showing him how the stage lights and curtains worked. He let him backstage to see the dressing room and where his office was, with cardboard boxes already on the desk.</p><p>"Sophie is supposed to come help me decorate soon," PJ told him, "This office, I mean, I'm not sure about the dressing room."</p><p>"Have you met any of the queens yet?" Phil asked curiously.</p><p>PJ sighed awkwardly, "Uh, no, actually."</p><p>"PJ, you guys open super soon!"</p><p>"I know, but I kinda just picked the queens that were already planning on transferring here. Some of them moved closer to a different club, on the other side of the city, or back home, I guess. It was too long to wait to get shows," PJ said, "I've made a Facebook group and talked to a few, and that's about it."</p><p>Phil sat down on a chair in front of PJ's desk as they continued to talk, allowing him to ramble about his excitement for this new job and all of the ideas he had planned, until they heard a knock at the office door.</p><p>"Come in," PJ called out.</p><p>"Mr. Ligouri?" the person said, their eyebrow raised.</p><p>"Please, call me PJ," PJ chuckled, "What's up?"</p><p>"Um, the queens are here, they said something about how you planned a photoshoot for today, to post on the website or something?"</p><p>"Damn, I totally forgot!"</p><p>What a great manager PJ already was.</p><p>"That's no problem though, I'll go—um—come on, Phil," PJ said, going out the door. Phil followed behind him into the open area right in front of the hallway.</p><p>There stood a group of people, all carrying huge makeup cases or luggage bags. As they gossipped and chatted, Phil looked over the small crowd.</p><p>Most of them seemed masculine, but some expressed their femininity without all of their drag on. Some of them were tall, some of them short. Some curvy, some skinny. Some of them spoke with a familiar London accent, some of them more northern or southern, some of them sounding like they were from a completely different country.</p><p>"Hello, you all. Forgive me, I forgot about asking you all to come. But we'll still go ahead and take promotion photos for the website, and I'll be creating us an Instagram page as well," PJ said, "The dressing room is kind of empty at the moment, but there's at least enough mirrors and chairs for everyone, so feel free to claim a station and get started on your makeup!"</p><p>~</p><p>The queens were glorious. Phil had never been around anything like this before and it was definitely a learning experience for him. But he enjoyed seeing them all in their element so immensely it was almost easy to forget he knew next to nothing about drag. </p><p>PJ was quickly becoming an expert though, doing research online and watching episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race back to back. Phil had never really gotten into the show, he'd never really been one for contestant shows, but listening to PJ and the queens talk about it sounded almost like hearing a prophet talking about their god.</p><p>It was so interesting, the change. The shift from average people walking down the street, to over the top, exaggerated, hyper feminine drag queens. He watched them, seeing them fight over the best mirrors and lighting and teasing each other relentlessly. That took some getting used to, for sure. </p><p>"Bitch! What are you even talking about?" </p><p>The question was loud across the room and Phil flinched from his seat next to PJ. He didn't know how to disengage a cat fight if he had to, his only experience with it being public school girls who yelled before their hair was pulled and punches were thrown. But that didn't happen. Instead laughter sounded from everyone near them. </p><p>"You dumb whore! You know exactly what I'm talking about—" the conversation went on. It was exhilarating to see them, to watch them just exist. </p><p>A part of him recognized how weird it might seem that he was staring so hard but he couldn't help it. Phil wasn't confident. Not really. He was clumsy and awkward. He'd probably injure himself or someone else if he ever tried to walk in heels. </p><p>Maybe he'd like makeup, but he had no idea where he'd even start and how to steady his shaky hands. The queens did it all with such precision. He'd probably make it messy. It wouldn't look nice on him  the way it did on them. </p><p>Phil realized that he was a bit envious of them. Of the confidence they exuded. </p><p>One queen specifically caught his eye. He was a brunet, curls pushed back from his forehead. The group picked on him a lot, but he was able to quickly recover and laugh it off.</p><p>He was pretty, but held himself differently. Like he was shy or embarrassed, his shoulders hunched forward, almost like he was attempting to make himself look small.</p><p>Except, of course, when he slid his heels on and started on his makeup. The confidence seemed to bloom out of him, almost as if he was becoming a different person. And, Phil supposed, he was. </p><p>He was sat next to another queen, with tanned skin with a septum piercing, and the other queen must have been hilarious, because they hadn't stopped laughing nearly the whole time. His Aussie accent made it a bit hard for Phil to understand all the jokes being said. </p><p>His gaze fixed back on the brunet, and he watched him transform. Suddenly he wasn't hunched over anymore, but holding himself high, the more his makeup was coming together. </p><p>The brunet didn't look scared of anyone or anything. He seemed to have so much power as he put on lashes and filled in his lips with color.</p><p>Getting him out of his daze, Phil heard PJ clap his hands together, standing up and looking around the room. </p><p>"You all look absolutely stunning," he said, earning a bunch of claps, thank yous, and a couple shouts of "I know" that made PJ chuckle. "I figured I should introduce myself. I'm PJ, the manager of stage production and performances, but you can all call me Peej if you like. I wanted to go over some new company policies with you all."</p><p>Phil glanced up at him, surprised. PJ hadn't told him anything about changing or adding rules. </p><p>"It's not a big one, at least I hope not," he continued, "Most of the rules are staying the same. There's just one. No sleeping with or dating any of the customers that come in," he glanced around the room, shrugging and grinning when none of the queens seemed to disagree. "That's all then!" </p><p>PJ walked back towards Phil. </p><p>"How'd I do?" he asked, blushing a bit.</p><p>It wasn't like PJ to boss people around. Phil knew he took this job because of his love for the scene and theater, not so much for his want to be in charge. </p><p>"You did great! I think that new rule's a really smart idea," Phil told PJ, eyes dwelling back to the specific queen once the words left his lips.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. IV. Cigarette Daydreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter notes: hi friends! here’s another update!</p><p>sorry it took a while. i’ve been working so much for the holidays. i hope you all had happy holidays and a good new year.</p><p>i think i forgot to mention that this is set in 2019, not 2020.</p><p>enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dan huffed, getting distracted trying to find where his friend went off to. Peeking out of a different doorway, he found a way outside, shoving the heavy door open and stomping out. The weather outside was typical for London, gloomy, grey and foggy—and the cement under Dan’s shoes was wet and sloshy.</p><p>A thin man with smooth, deep bronze skin was standing across the door, leaning against the brick wall of another building next to the bar. With a strong Australian accent, he said, “I’ve only been through that bloody door once and it’s a pain in my fuckin’ arse.”</p><p>Looking up, Dan couldn’t help but smile when he saw him. “Take those stupid sunglasses off. It’s not even bright out.”</p><p>“Not my sunnies,” he whined, but pushed them up over his forehead anyway. Dan walked down the stairs and made his way over to stand beside him. “You okay?”</p><p>Crossing his arms, Dan looked down the alleyway to see the cars and buses pass by the busy road. “I’m so pissed, Gorey. At them. They just don’t know when to shut the fuck up. We’re not even in bloody drag yet.”</p><p>Gorey shrugged, pulling out a pack of red Marlboro cigarettes. His bony fingers with chipped black polish on the nails pulled one out and stuck it in between his teeth, closed the box, put it back into his leather jacket pocket, took out his pink lighter, and lit it, all in a rhythm. Snarling, Gorey breathed in the smoke, then exhaled out of the corner of his mouth away from Dan, who continued on with his rant.</p><p>“Like, I shouldn’t have to explain my entire fucking backstory to people for them to just shut up. When I say stop, I mean it, you know?” Dan huffed, trying not to breathe in the smoke.</p><p>“You’ve ought to tell ‘em, babe,” Gorey reminded Dan, taking another drag. “You’ve told me that dozens, you know. They won’t know to stop if you don’t tell ‘em to. They’re drag queens, they’ll tease you ‘til the end of fucking time.”</p><p>He looked down at his shoes, “I just...I don’t want to deal with it anymore, I suppose. Pressure to find love. I’m tired of love and all that crap. I’m not going to deal with it anymore, no matter how much they pester me ‘bout it.”</p><p>“Mhm,” Gorey sighed.</p><p>“I guess I should tell them, though...I mean, this new club thing...might as well try to stay friendly to the ones I actually know.”</p><p>“Yeah. Don’t think being stubborn’s gonna get ya anywhere, Danny.”</p><p>“Says you.”</p><p>“Hush. I’m trying to be supportive.”</p><p>Dan’s brows furrowed as he kicked at the ground, a loud scrape emitting from his shoe. “I mean, I’ve worn heels that are bigger than most guys’ fucking dicks. I don’t need anyone. They don’t know what they’re on about.”</p><p>“Besties before testes,” Gorey teased, then tapped the cigarette and blew out smoke.</p><p>“I…” Dan began to speak, then slid down to the ground and hugged his knees—clearly not in the mood for his friend’s playful banter. Gorey caught on, kneeling down beside him and moving his cigarette out of the way. “I hate that I’m able to forgive him. I hate it so much.”</p><p>Petting his curls delicately, Gorey comforted Dan. “I know, darling. I know.”</p><p>“Like, I still have dreams and he’s in them, and in the dream everything is fine. I hate it. It’s like my brain is trying to manipulate me into excusing what he did. He was such an ass. We’ve said it so many times together, I know it’s true. He was a total cunt,” Dan went on, “But why? Why in the fuck do I miss him? Why do I feel so bad?”</p><p>Gorey watched as Dan sniffled, eyeing his cigarette with a shrug and choosing to waste it by tossing it off somewhere. He wrapped his arms around Dan’s frame, rubbing his back and hip. While being held, Dan seemed to be comforted by the appearance of his familiar friend—the messy hair, awful sunglasses, shiny septum hoop in his wide nose, smooth skin, and hazel eyes.</p><p>“It’s okay, darling,” Gorey murmured. His voice was low, a bit husky and rough from the tobacco. “Do you want to...go get a coffee, or something?”</p><p>Dan shook his head. “Just home.”</p><p>“Alright, alright,” Gorey reasoned. “As soon as we’re done with this photoshoot. I’m sure Brizzy bird misses her step-mummy. She wouldn’t want her mumma to be sad.”</p><p>“I just want to go home and cry,” Dan’s voice was brittle. </p><p>“We gotta go get pretty now, but we’ll go home and cry soon, Danny.”</p><p>“Okay. But please go pick up your cigarette and put it in a bin.”</p><p>“Ah, at least you’re still in a good enough mood to nag me about saving the planet,” he said sarcastically. </p><p>Gorey threw out the cigarette, then walked back to Dan, wrapping his arm loosely around him as they went back up the stairs to get back inside.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. V. Opening Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>London’s NEWEST Gay Bar!<br/>The Cat and Bear Drag Club<br/>OPENING NIGHT 11TH JUNE</p><p>FREE ADMISSION!*<br/>*to those 17 years of age and older. Tips are encouraged and greatly appreciated. Not affiliated with RuPaul’s Drag Race UK. For more info, follow us @catandbearldn on Instagram or go to our website catandbearldn.co.uk</p><p>-</p><p>Phil read the poster put up on the brick wall outside of the club, looking over at the pictures of the queens. To his own surprise, there was actually a line to get in, with a buff security guard letting people inside.</p><p>He checked his watch to see it was fifteen minutes before the show was supposed to start. God, that seemed too close. They could be starting any minute and he was waiting in line with the last minute outfit he’d picked out, since last time PJ told him he dressed much too formal.</p><p>The collar of the shirt was too tight around his neck and he’d barely had the time to adjust it before it was his turn to walk in.</p><p>Of course, the music was loud, but there didn’t seem to be any sort of show going on. The bar had plenty of people sitting on the stools, the few tables on the opposite wall of the stage were all full, and groups of friends leaned against the walls to talk.</p><p>Meekly, Phil ordered a water with lemon from the bar, then saw PJ approaching him.</p><p>“Hey, glad you could make it!” PJ said, patting his shoulder. “Have you gotten your tip money yet?”</p><p>“Huh? No,” Phil replied.</p><p>“No worries, I’ll tell you how to do it,” he said, “There’s an ATM by the door if you want real cash. But there’s also vouchers you can hand out, and the more a queen gets based on the worth of the vouchers, the more money they make. It sounds complicated, but it’s not, I promise. Just go to the counter thing by the ATM, they’ll give you vouchers.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Phil checked his watch, “I’ll...catch up with you later?”</p><p>“Sure! I gotta go see how they’re doing!” PJ ran off to where Phil remembered the dressing room was. </p><p>He decided on a mix of cash and vouchers, like PJ said. Carefully, he tucked them into his wallet and went to go sit on a barstool again.</p><p>Phil squeezed the lemon into his water, not in the mood to actually drink something. He tended to not do so, only at a work party or friend’s party—drinking alone felt pathetic. He didn’t even know for sure if he even owned any alcohol at the moment, it’d been so long.</p><p>It’d been a long time since anything outside of work. But Phil liked working, he liked his coworkers and his steady, easygoing job. </p><p>The show was supposed to start at 9, but it was nearing 9:15 when Phil checked his watch again. </p><p>He watched a few cute younger guys with the logo of the bar on their shirts getting the growing crowd to back away from the stage a bit. Some of the audience stepped back, or were even escorted to sit down. Then, finally, loud music started to play and an announcer was yelling through the speakers.</p><p>Phil looked around, deciding whether or not he should get up and stand closer.</p><p>“You can keep your seat, mate,” a bartender said, “Can you see okay?”</p><p>Turning slightly, Phil nodded, “Yeah.”</p><p>When Phil was thinking about how to ask a stupid question, the bartender asked, “First drag show?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, they’ll come over here,” the bartender told him, “Give everyone a chance to tip ‘em. You’re not gonna have any fun being so tense, just enjoy the show.”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>“And you don’t seem like the type of guy to do this, but I tell everyone...don’t touch them unless they invite you to.”</p><p>“Got it, thank you,” Phil said, holding out his hand then looking at the bartender’s name tag, “Mars?”</p><p>“Yeah, Mars,” the bartender smiled and shook Phil’s hand back, “I use they/them pronouns, by the way. Your name?”</p><p>“Phil,” he said simply, then followed up with, “He/him. And speaking of pronouns, what should I call the drag queens?”</p><p>“She or they is fine for most of them,” Mars said, “I haven’t met all of them, but it’s always safe to use they.”</p><p>“Okay. Thanks.”</p><p>As soon as he turned back around, the lights went down in the club and people crowded around, cheering and watching the performers of the night grace the stage.</p><p>His eyes went back and forth to take it in. All of them were very tall, especially with their heels and platforms on. There were four in total that were going to be performing, and they all lined up. Posing, waving and smiling to the crowd. </p><p>Hands on hips, hair being twirled or pushed behind their ear, the batting of the queens’ long, false lashes—all made them beautifully feminine but very intimidating. With one, he locked eyes for just a moment, and he swore he knew him. Maybe he was one of the ones that came when PJ was showing him around?</p><p>Their eyes met for a few seconds, and the queen smirked a little, playing with a brunette curl.</p><p>“Welcome to the opening night of The Cat and Bear!” the announcer cheered, “Oh damn, it’s almost nine thirty. Well, who was expecting a bunch of drag queens to be on time anyway? We’re still glad you’re here!”</p><p>After the crowd laughed, the host introduced all of the queens, saying the brunette was named Daniel Howell. Daniel was mesmerizing, and Phil could barely keep his eyes off of him.</p><p>The speed of Phil’s heart seemed to increase as he took in everything he saw—he wore a pretty, long, black sparkly dress, and the straps were super thin. On his head was a large wig—waves of deep brown cascaded down the back across his shoulders. Daniel’s heels made him super tall, and he seemed to be gazing out at the crowd, his hands on his hips in a confident stance.</p><p>Makeup looked gorgeous on him. Shiny, silver eyelids with smokey liner and shadow, deep maroon lipstick overdrawn, bright platinum toned highlighter on his nose and cheekbones, and dangling earrings hung from his lobes.</p><p>For a second, Phil’s focus trailed off, and he imagined dancing with him later into the night. They had only looked at each other, so why was he already going so far as daydreaming about it? He didn’t even know how to fucking dance. </p><p>The night went on, and Phil watched the performers, each of them performing about four times, with four different outfits, some of them even doing a reveal. Phil tipped them all with vouchers, and they all seemed very thankful. Daniel had snuck winks and smiles to him, but the most attention he paid to Phil was during his last lip sync. </p><p>He was performing Nasty by Janet Jackson, wearing a black ruffled one piece without sleeves or pant legs, a corset around his middle, fishnet tights and black thigh high boots. His collarbones and shoulders were being shown off as he ran his hand across them, still wearing his black glittery nails. With a smile, he poofed up his perfectly styled wig, long and flowy brown with volume as he moved. He posed with his hand up in the air, pulling a sassy face.</p><p>Gimme a beat!</p><p>Daniel lip synced along as he danced to the beginning of the song. He shuffled his feet and threw his hand up into the air again, then waved his hips back and forth as it led up to the real lyrics starting to play.</p><p>Sittin' in the movie show<br/>Thinkin' nasty thoughts<br/>Better be a gentleman<br/>Or you'll turn me off<br/>That's right, lemme tell it</p><p>With a smirk, Daniel started rubbing over his fake breasts down to his thighs. His boots stomped along the stage and he started collecting his tips.</p><p>Nasty, nasty boys, don't mean a thing<br/>Oh you nasty boys<br/>Nasty, nasty boys, don't ever change<br/>Oh you nasty boys</p><p>As he mouthed the words gazing into someone’s eyes, he jutted his hips out to the beat, crouching down a little to ‘say’ the last part, then reaching out to poke one of his tippers’ noses.</p><p>I don't like no nasty car<br/>I don't like a nasty food<br/>The only nasty thing I like<br/>Is a nasty groove</p><p>After he dramatically spun away from one side of the stage, he strutted across to the other side with a smirk on his face, collecting tips from them as well. He dropped his tips into a plastic tub, then began doing some dances from the actual Nasty music video, making the audience cheer loudly.</p><p>Will this one do?<br/>Uh huh, I know, say<br/>Nasty, nasty boys, don't mean a thing<br/>Oh you nasty boys<br/>Nasty, nasty boys, don't ever change<br/>Oh you nasty boys</p><p>A cheeky grin spread across his face as he turned away from the crowd and playfully bucked his hips back and forth to ‘enunciate’ the words. He turned his head so they could still see his lips move, but continued to shake his hips, showing off his thighs and ass. </p><p>Nasty, nasty boys, give me a nasty groove<br/>Oh you nasty boys<br/>Nasty, nasty boys, let me see your nasty body move<br/>Oh you nasty boys</p><p> </p><p>After he had spun back around, he made his way down the catwalk to the front of the stage, standing tall over all of the people surrounding it. Daniel attractively rolled his hips in the air, touching in between his thighs again to get people to whistle and yell enthusiastically. He collected tips as he stepped down from the platform through the people, smiling charmingly at everyone. Some of the people even recorded him with their phones, and he made sure to wave or wink or smile at them.</p><p>I could learn to like this, listen up</p><p>Phil had given out most of his fives and tens by then, and knowing that this was the last performance of the night, he made a bold decision. Daniel made his way to where Phil was, spinning and lip syncing every lyric perfectly. He had a wad of cash in his hand as he danced.</p><p>I'm not a prude (no), I just want some respect (that's right)<br/>So close the door if you want me to respond (ooh ooh yeah)<br/>'Cause privacy is my middle name<br/>My last name is control</p><p>Once he was in front of Phil, he was staring him straight in the eyes, lip syncing to the most iconic lyric of the song. He wagged his finger, telling him the lyrics.</p><p>No, my first name ain’t baby<br/>It’s Janet...Miss Jackson if you’re nasty</p><p>Phil took out a fifty pound note from his wallet, holding it out for him. Daniel’s eyes went wide and his smile beamed. He graciously accepted it, making sure to pay attention to him as he added it to his wad of tips. Swaying his hips and holding Phil’s hand gently, he looked into his eyes—Phil’s heart was soaring, his legs were shaky, his cheeks were amber. </p><p>With him being so close, Phil could smell Daniel’s probably expensive perfume. He could also see his beautiful makeup up close, the incredible detail of his overdrawn lips. The lines were so precise. The blending of his highlight on his cheeks was perfect, as well as the smokey eyeshadow, and the graphic lines of his eyebrows and eyeliner were sharp. </p><p>As he lip synced, he could see that the queen had bright, shining teeth. His foundation and powder made his skin incredibly smooth, either he was damn good at covering blemishes or he had none at all. He also had three unique beauty marks that Phil was pretty sure he’d never seen before, two on his cheek that whenever his dimple showed that made it look like a sad face, and one that was to the left of the lower lid of his right eye.</p><p>It made him wonder if he really had them underneath the makeup or if he didn’t. And if he didn’t, why those places? Phil had so many questions he wasn’t even sure he was going to be able to ask him that night.</p><p>Daniel brought Phil’s hand up to his lips to place a kiss on it, which left a lipstick print, then slowly pulled away, tickling him with his nails as he stomped off. </p><p>Biting his lip, he watched Daniel’s hips move back and forth as he stepped back up onto the stage. After finishing the song with more gracious movements of his beautiful body, he placed the pile of tips in the plastic tub that one of the workers at the bar took to the back for him, aside from the fifty pound note, which he stuffed into the top of his costume—pulling it up over his chest, his bottom lip sucked in and his eyes casting a wink towards Phil.</p><p>Phil eyed him like a hawk leaving the stage. </p><p>In between the performances, Phil bought all of the performers shots and a few minutes later, all of them were back on, shots in hand. The host introduced the performers again and Phil noticed one of the other queens come from behind the stage with a large, costumey, and glittery British royal guard coat. Another drag queen had a golden tiara for Daniel, and they started singing Happy Birthday.</p><p>Shit, it was Daniel’s birthday?</p><p>He sarcastically waved his hands in front of his face to dry fake tears as they put the coat on his arms and the crown on his head. He flashed a huge smile, and hugged both of the queens. Then, they all posed together, Dan jutting his hip out and keeping his bright grin on his face. After a few photos, someone handed him a microphone, and he nicely shushed the crowd so he could talk.</p><p>“Thank you to the man who ordered us all shots,” Daniel purred, looking over at Phil. “Let’s see what it is, hmm?”</p><p>The performers took their shots, coughing and grimacing afterwards, making Phil chuckle a little.</p><p>“Wot the everloving fuck was that? Battery acid?” one of the queens coughed. Daniel threw his drink back, making a similar face before awkwardly chuckling.</p><p>“That was strong, fucking hell,” Daniel said, then smiling and sarcastically saying, “I mean, it was lovely! Very enjoyable! Everyone go to the bar.”</p><p>When the crowd was silent, he spoke again.</p><p>“Seriously. Go get a fucking drink or I’ll lose my job,” he scolded in a sassy tone, making everyone laugh.</p><p>Phil still hadn’t had anything besides a water. A worker came by to pick up the empty cups, and then Daniel was talking again.</p><p>“Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes, especially to my friends who couldn’t be here tonight, wherever they may be, I appreciate everyone’s support. Thanks for coming, and please be sure to call for an Uber if you are intoxicated,” he said cheerfully, then blew kisses to the crowd. “Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!”</p><p>Once Daniel was done, the music started to play and Phil saw a bunch of people, some in drag and some not, bringing flowers, gifts, and a cake for him. He sat down at one of the tables at the opposite side of the stage and took pictures with all of his friends, then they had a toast and ate cake together.</p><p>Phil didn’t want to interrupt his happy moment since they didn’t even know each other, so he ordered himself a fruity cocktail at the bar. His original reason for going was only to see the show, anyway, and he didn’t really know what else to do. </p><p>He mindlessly played on his phone, sipping his drink until he was tapped on the shoulder. He turned suddenly, nearly choking. Daniel was right in front of him.</p><p>“Hey handsome,” Daniel smiled like a dork. He sat in the empty barstool next to Phil, giggling.</p><p>“Um, hello,” Phil greeted, blushing and setting his glass down.</p><p>“Hi,” his smile was bright and welcoming. “You’re one of PJ’s friends, yeah?”</p><p>“Mhm,” Phil said, “The boring businessman friend.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t say boring. You’re cool enough to come to a drag show,” he said, “And it definitely wasn’t boring, now was it?”</p><p>“...N-No…” Phil stuttered.</p><p>“Why’d you hesitate?” Daniel teased, “Was it boring to you, sir?”</p><p>“No!” Phil squeaked, “It was just the first one I’ve ever been to, so…”</p><p>“So what?”</p><p>“It’s a lot to process. But I liked it.”</p><p>“Well as long as you liked it,” he continued to tease, “And if you secretly didn’t, you were polite about it. Sometimes we can’t even get a golf clap out of people.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Oh my god, yes. It’s almost always the fucking bridesmaids that get pissed if a queen’s performance isn’t feminine and traditional enough for them,” Daniel rolled his eyes. “Like you can choose to see us, but not what we perform, cunt.”</p><p>“Traditional?” Phil questioned, “What about drag can be traditional?”</p><p>Daniel huffed, “I know, right?! But like...if we’re lip syncing to a song where a guy is singing instead of a girl, or we don’t have tits on, our heels aren’t tall enough, stupid shit like that. It’s 2019, for fuck’s sake, drag is anything and everything.”</p><p>Phil nodded, trying to understand. For a moment he glanced around the bar, then heard Daniel order himself a drink. It was something called The Princess, and the bartender said it was on the house.</p><p>“I didn’t know it was your birthday,” Phil told him, then awkwardly apologized, “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”</p><p>“You gave me a fifty pound tip, you spoon,” Daniel sipped from his straw with a wide grin. Phil watched as he set his drink down and tapped his nails on the wood of the counter, being very distracting with them. “That’s a birthday present. I don’t think I’ve been tipped that much in forever.”</p><p>“Right,” Phil replied sheepishly.</p><p>“Some nights I’m lucky if I even get fifty pounds total,” he admitted, pulling a hair from the glittery coat. “But that’s the way it goes.”</p><p>“Is it that inconsistent?” Phil asked out of curiosity.</p><p>“Mmm, not usually, but sometimes,” Daniel gave him a look, with a bit of a smirk, magically retrieving a comb out of nowhere. “Depends on the night. I usually work four to five nights a week, and I try to avoid getting booked on boring days. But sometimes...they just can’t get enough of me,” he winked, batting his big set of lashes.</p><p>“O-Oh,” Phil chuckled awkwardly.</p><p>“I’m just kidding. Technically, it’s not my number one job to get tips, the extra money just helps pay the bills and for the wardrobe,” he chuckled, “I’m supposed to entertain, making sure we get customers and promoting the sale of alcohol, in all honesty. The tips are just a bonus, as well as…” his voice trailed off, “...other things.”</p><p>“Is everything, like, affordable?” Phil asked.</p><p>“Yeah, now that I’ve got some experience,” he pulled the comb through his hair, “For about two years I performed nearly for free. Not as often as I do now—fucking hell this tangle is a bitch—but for almost no benefit other than gaining an audience, I guess...okay, what the fuck?”</p><p>He pulled a lock from his wig up, looking horrified at it.</p><p>“This fucking—I swear I detangled this fucking thing. Sorry,” Daniel apologized, running the comb through it repeatedly. “Ow.”</p><p>“Does it actually hurt?” Phil asked, holding his hands out to help, but honestly he didn’t know what to do.</p><p>“Somewhat, I mean it’s glued to my fucking head,” he complained.</p><p>Phil watched him fix it helplessly. When he was done and the hair was smooth, Phil muttered, “Sorry, that was probably a stupid question, I didn’t know you guys, er...I didn’t know that they’re glued down.”</p><p>“That’s okay, I didn’t mean to seem like I was snapping at you, sorry,” he apologized awkwardly, “I should’ve been able to put two and two together that you’re asking me questions because you don’t know.”</p><p>“I don’t know anything about drag queens,” Phil admitted, “PJ’s told me a little bit, but I don’t know most of it.”</p><p>Nodding, Daniel asked, “What were we on about?”</p><p>“You getting experience and an audience,” he reminded him, “Kind of like building a clientele.”</p><p>“Exactly,” Daniel took a sip from his drink, “What days of the week do you work, hm?”</p><p>“Uh, weekdays,” Phil smiled, still being awkward and anxious for some reason. He didn’t know why, the only thing he could pinpoint was that he was subconsciously wanting to impress. “Nine to five, mostly.”</p><p>“Interesting,” he said with a cheeky smile.</p><p>Phil’s initial thought to that was no it fucking wasn’t, but it was nice to pretend he was actually that interested.</p><p>As kind as Daniel was being, he was super fucking intimidating and charming to the point that it was scary, not to mention the fact he was way taller than Phil with his heels and wig on. He was easily towering near seven feet tall.</p><p>“Nice corgi shirt,” Daniel complimented. </p><p>“Thank you,” Phil’s cheeks stayed tinted.</p><p>“I like it. Do you have a dog?”</p><p>“Unfortunately, no. I work too often so it would be lonely.”</p><p>“I’m out doing drag too often, but I want a shiba inu.”</p><p>“I wonder what their mixed breed would look like,” Phil wondered. Daniel giggled and pushed his long hair over his shoulder.</p><p>“Probably adorable as fuck,” he beamed, working out a tangle, “Not as adorable as the ‘boring businessman’ wearing some corgis on his shirt, though.”</p><p>Phil blinked, his eyes widened and cheeks filled with color. His reaction wasn’t bad, necessarily, but of all the things he thought would possibly happen over the course of the night, he didn’t expect a casual conversation to turn into him being hit on. Not that he had a problem with it.</p><p>Smirking, Daniel said, “You can call me Dan, by the way.”</p><p>“Dan, okay,” Phil watched his lips smirk, “Can I ask you a question, Dan?”</p><p>“Sure,” Dan stuffed the comb somewhere in his coat and rested his cheek on his fist to gaze at Phil as he spoke.</p><p>“Why drag?”</p><p>Smiling, Dan looked down at his drink, “Mmm...for fun. It’s a fun way to channel creativity, live a different life for a while. It gives me a lot of confidence compared to how I feel ‘as a boy’, quote unquote. Can I ask you a question?”</p><p>“Go ahead.”</p><p>“Why haven’t you drank for real yet on this fine evening?”</p><p>“I’ve had this fruity thing,” Phil fakely pouted, noticing how full his glass was.</p><p>“Oh come on, you’ve had like two fucking sips,” Dan giggled, “Let loose a little.”</p><p>Biting back a smile, Phil shrugged, “May I buy you a drink?” </p><p>“Pour moi?” Dan jokingly gasped, “Do you think I need to let loose?”</p><p>“N-No, just...as another birthday present?” Phil persuaded, “One, at least.”</p><p>“If you insist, Mr. Businessman,” Dan batted his lashes and pushed hair out of his face. The Princess drink was empty, so he lightly scooted it away.</p><p>“What would you like, then?”</p><p>“Hmm...I would like…” Dan looked down at the drink menu, but was soon prodding his finger on Phil’s shoulder and saying, “For you to pick.”</p><p>“What if you don’t like it?”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I’ve had every drink on the menu at some point in my years...and there’s very few I dislike. I wanna see you pick based on what you think I’d want.”</p><p>Phil began looking over the menu on the counter. Dan placed his hand over one section, making Phil look up at him. For a second, he thought Dan wanted to hold hands, but surely not.</p><p>“What? Why do you look so scared? I’m only covering the whisky part because I don’t really like it,” Dan chuckled, “Plus, whisky is the worst hangover.”</p><p>“How so?” Phil asked.</p><p>Dan widened his eyes, then started laughing, “I used to drink it, but turns out alcohol poisoning is not for me.”</p><p>“Ohhh,” Phil laughed a little, “I’ll pick something different then.”</p><p>“You better.”</p><p>Once the bartender came by, Phil ordered Dan a Bloody Mary in a bit of a panic. Smirking, Dan moved his hand from the menu as Phil ordered. </p><p>“Good choice,” he giggled and teased, “Don’t say it twice more.”</p><p>Phil turned back to him, and Dan turned his head to silently watch the bartender in action. Once Dan’s drink was placed in front of him, he ordered a drink for Phil, too.</p><p>“You didn’t have to get me one,” Phil whined a bit, feeling guilty. </p><p>Dan ignored him, making a couple of hand gestures to the bartender before his drink slid across the counter.</p><p>“Just shut up and try it, mister,” Dan winked, curling a strand of hair with his finger. Phil’s cheeks began to burn, and he took a sip from the drink that was fucking strong. He tried to play it cool and not cringe, but Dan could clearly tell he was uncomfortable.</p><p>Dan giggled, reaching out to rub his side. “Didn’t mean to fuck you up too bad. Just thought you needed a fun little surprise is all. Plus, you’re a busy, working man, as you told me. Need to let loose a little, you know?”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess so,” Phil coughed as Dan ate some of the vegetables from the top of his Bloody Mary. He thanked the bartender and noticed Dan’s hand still on his side. Soon, Phil watched him realize it too and remove his hand slowly. </p><p>“How long have you been working as a drag queen?” he asked to break the awkwardness. </p><p>“Hmm…” Dan thought, “I’ve been doing drag since I was eighteen, I guess. Then when I got good enough, I started getting booked at one bar consistently. And that was when I was twenty or so, so like, eight years now?”</p><p>“That’s cool,” Phil responded, “I’ve never really been interested in drag until PJ got this job. Like, to watch and learn about it, I mean. You’re all so...interesting.”</p><p>“Interesting,” Dan repeated as he took a sip, imitating his northern accent a little.</p><p>“I didn’t think...well,” Phil took a drink, “Never mind.”</p><p>“Didn’t think what?” Dan’s smile was slightly lifted in a stupid, intimidating smirk again that Phil hoped wasn’t making him blush, but it was. </p><p>“Okay, being honest—my opinion has changed, so please—I—I didn’t think you would be this nice.”</p><p>“Me or drag queens in general?”</p><p>“Drag queens!” Phil corrected quickly, making Dan laugh.</p><p>“Oh you should see us behind closed doors,” Dan told him, “Yeah, when we’re out here we tease around a little, but back in the dressing room? Jesus Christ.”</p><p>“Oh really?”</p><p>“Yep, at the club I used to work at, someone threw a high heel during an argument,” Dan said, “Made a fuckin’ hole in the wall.”</p><p>“Wow…” Phil showed him that he was understanding, but didn’t want to seem nosy and curious.</p><p>Clearly wanting to move on, Dan asked, “Got any other questions?”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to seem bothersome,” Phil said awkwardly. “I do, actually, but I’m sure you have more important things to do…”</p><p>“No, no, you’re fine,” Dan assured, “Ask away. I’ve been asked some of the most personal, invasive questions that the English language offers, so don’t worry about offending me, either. Not much drag queens can be offended by, anyway. And you don’t seem like the kind of guy to ask weirdly personal shit.”</p><p>“Okay...are you sure?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, of course.”</p><p>Phil cleared his throat, chuckling nervously, “So, does every night feel like a party?”</p><p>Dan snorted in response, covering his mouth and giggling.</p><p>“I know, it’s dumb…” Phil blushed, looking away and rolling his eyes at himself for asking such a juvenile question. </p><p>“No, no, it’s not dumb,” Dan reassured him, “I just always expect the worst, and you go and ask the most adorable, innocent question ever,” he sighed in between laughter, looking away from his eyes and taking a sip of his drink, leaving a lipstick print. “Um...I guess to an outsider, yes. Being a drag queen, or even working at a club like this in general, almost every night is like a party. But here it’s like, super gay and crazy and shit.”</p><p>Nodding, Phil smiled and gazed at the dimple in Dan’s cheek, and the way he looked down and smiled to himself, pushing hair out of his face and looking back up a few seconds later.</p><p>“I don’t even want to imagine what other things people ask you,” Phil told him.</p><p>Dan rolled his eyes dramatically and shook his head. He began to list a few, “Do you wear so much makeup because you’re ugly underneath all of it? Were you abused as a kid so you want to be a girl? Have you tried accepting Jesus into your heart to clear your life of sin? Bitch, since when is femininity a sin?”</p><p>“That’s...wow. Terrible.”</p><p>“My personal favorite: What’s in your pants?” Dan said, “My answer: gimme cash if you’re that curious. Gets the straight, homophobic guys scurrying off quick.”</p><p>Phil laughed, “At least you have the bravery to stand up to them. I wouldn’t even know what to answer.”</p><p>“Like I said, drag makes me confident,” he said, “You’d be surprised at how much confidence lashes, lipstick, and heels give you.”</p><p>The two chatted a bit more over the course of the night, some of Dan’s friends asking him to come dance but he refused to. Phil told Dan he could leave if he wanted, but Dan stayed put right by Phil’s side.</p><p>He just didn’t want to seem like he was being a nuisance, was all. Phil wanted Dan to go do whatever made him happy on his birthday, but Dan insisted he was fine with just sitting and talking. He mostly stared at Phil, but also surveyed people who came too close to them, as if he was protecting Phil. Was it that obvious that Phil wasn’t quite comfortable yet?</p><p>Nonetheless, he kept trying to keep the conversation going with Dan. </p><p>“Do your parents know?” </p><p>Dan paused, staring into his drink and no longer stirring it. “I’m sorry, what?”</p><p>“Do your parents know?” Phil repeated, “That you do drag.”</p><p>Oblivious, Phil thought of it as a fine question to ask. It seemed like their conversation was heading that way, and since he had opened up a little bit about his own family, he was curious about Dan’s, tying it back into drag. He didn’t know much about Dan, and he didn’t know what types of questions were okay to ask drag queens, hell, he didn’t really know anything at all, like if there was some sort of etiquette to follow. Phil hoped he wasn’t being awkward, like he tended to be when talking to people he didn’t work with. Because it was very different.</p><p>At work he tried to be professional and serious, but he knew out of work he would be no fun that way. Dan had hit the nail on the head, unknowingly, that yes, Phil probably did need to let loose a little, have some fun, take some risks. He was doing exactly so by supporting PJ, which he thought was as far as he needed to go, but maybe he had further steps to take.</p><p>“Just a moment, I think I hear one of my friends calling for me,” Dan smiled, stepping down from the stool and walking over to the dance floor. </p><p>“Oh okay,” Phil smiled back, making Dan purse his lips. </p><p>-</p><p>Dan quickly approached one of his friends. “Tyler. Tyler. Tyler! Pretend like you called me over.”</p><p>“Okay, uh, hey girl!” Tyler said awkwardly, hugging him. “Seriously though, what’s wrong?”</p><p>“So this guy…” Dan started, watching Tyler peek behind his shoulder. “Yeah. Him. At the bar. Anyway, he’s…”</p><p>Tyler smirked, looking up at Dan and lifting his brow.</p><p>“Yes. He’s…”</p><p>“Danny, love, who’s the lad you’ve been talking to?” one of Dan’s drag queen friends asked, not so subtly looking over at Phil. “My, my, my, that isn’t PJ’s friend, is it now?”</p><p>“Shut up,” Dan said with gritted teeth. “He’s...he’s nice, okay? And I think I might be leaving with him.”</p><p>The queen clapped joyfully, “Oh lovely. I’m so proud you’ve found your birthday shag. You’re not worried about PJ finding out, are you?”</p><p>“No, not really. It’s my birthday, I’ll do whatever I want.”</p><p>“Biiiiitch!” Tyler laughed and snapped in the air. </p><p>“Yes, it’s great and all, whatever,” Dan said, “I came over here because—“</p><p>“What’d he do?” Tyler asked threateningly. “I’m ready to do some castration if needed.”</p><p>“Nothing!” Dan whined defensively. “Nothing. He just...he’s been asking me questions, and he just asked if my parents know.”</p><p>“Oh god, are you being interviewed or trying to hook up, for Christ’s sake?” the drag queen blurted. “He’s not wearing a bloody wristband for a meet and greet, go fuck already.”</p><p>Dan ignored her comment.</p><p>“Know what?” Tyler asked seriously.</p><p>“That I do drag.”</p><p>“Hmm,” the queen pursed her lips, cringing. “Well, you’ve got a few options here, princess. One, you could say ‘None of your business, piss off!’ Two, answer his question honestly, or three, play dumb.”</p><p>“He might’ve forgotten by now, honestly,” Tyler added, “Has he drank much?”</p><p>“Literally he barely has.”</p><p>“Damn. Just, uh...say we want you to come dance with us and don’t bring it up.”</p><p>“I still kind of want to talk to him though...and...you know…” he sighed to them, “Get a snog, at least.”</p><p>“Bitch, so many people are here tonight,” Tyler scoffed, “You could literally go up to ten guys in this place, open with ‘It’s my birthday, wanna fuck?’ and nine out of ten of them would say yes. And the tenth? Whipping his dick out before he could even answer. Why don’t you just go on to another person already?”</p><p>“Tylerrrrr,” Dan whined, “That makes me sound awful. He is PJ’s best friend, so I could be on PJ’s shit list for the rest of my career, easy. He’s...he’s different, okay? He’s really sweet, and we’re actually taking the time to get to know each other—“</p><p>“Well that’s a first,” the drag queen said.</p><p>Dan ignored her again, talking in a soft, high pitched voice, “And he’s so cute! I can tell he’s trying to be confident and impress me, and he doesn’t know shit about drag, but he’s learning and trying to understand. He has such a great personality and I’m having fun just talking to him. I mean, come on...if anyone’s my birthday shag, it’s him. I’m just gonna go invite—“</p><p>“No, no, darling, your standards are much too high for that. Make him want you. Show him that he’s the lucky lad you picked on your birthday once you’re alone together. He’ll come back to talk to you,” the drag queen insisted. </p><p>“That means I can still ask him, right? Like if he’ll leave with me?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“But, for now, play dumb. Play tipsy and forgetful,” Tyler advised. “Accidentally trip or something.”</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>-</p><p>“Hey, sorry, they invited us to come dance with them,” Dan told Phil as he walked back over, “Want to?”</p><p>“I’m not much of a dancer…” Phil said, “Seriously. I’d embarrass you.”</p><p>“I used to be terrible, trust me,” Dan got back onto the stool, and they began sharing awkward stories of them at school dances and such. There were lots of opportunities for jokes to be made, so Phil took them when he could, and so did Dan, being playful and charming.</p><p>When their conversation came to a close, Dan turned to face him, giving Phil better access to view his long legs and gorgeous thighs. He caught himself staring, so he looked back up at Dan, who was smirking. Dan bit his lip, his eyebrow raised and his lashes fluttering as he looked at Phil in the same way.</p><p>“Want some cake?” Dan asked, low and sultry, playing with his hair.</p><p>Phil looked over at the leftover birthday cake on the table, “No, thank you.”</p><p>“Not that cake,” Dan teased, making Phil turn a dark shade of red. He laughed loudly. </p><p>“Aren’t you coming to dance already?” another queen butted in, addressing Dan.</p><p>“I will, I will!” Dan protested, “It’s my bloody birthday.”</p><p>The queen rolled her eyes. “Just quit being such a whore and come dance with us!”</p><p>Dan gasped, keeping his mouth opened in fake offense as the queen laughed and trotted off. He finished his drink, and then stepped down from the barstool, kissing his own hand and pressing it to Phil’s lips. “I’ll be dancing. Come and find me.”</p><p>Phil’s cheeks felt numb as he held back a smile. “After all that talking and I don’t even get a real kiss?”</p><p>“Not if you’re too impatient, darling,” Dan winked and went off to go find his friends.</p><p>It took a long time for Phil to finally grow a pair to talk to Dan again. He had been watching him all night with lust, while also trying to not seem like a creep.</p><p>Phil watched him smile and laugh with his friends, dancing playfully with them—whether it was dancing like an idiot or to look sexy on purpose. He also learned how easy it was to get cash just dressed up like Dan was. Some people liked to take pictures with drag queens, or watch them dance, or even just see them exist, and pay them for it. </p><p>Another thing he learned: gays go crazy when Lady Gaga comes on.</p><p>One more drink, checking the time on his phone to see that it was nearly midnight already, and hearing a remix of Work Bitch by Britney Spears playing all over the club filled him with confidence. He strode across the dance floor to Dan, who was dancing beside his friends. Dan spun around and they nearly bumped into each other. </p><p>“Oh, hey,” Dan said, smiling widely. He envied his confidence and radiant energy. Maybe it was because he was in drag, or because he was surrounded by his friends, or his drinking, of course. “Look how much money I’ve got!”</p><p>Phil curiously looked at his face as he showed him a decent amount of cash from his costume. He shoved it back inside and then excitedly encouraged him to dance. When Phil shook his head, Dan protested, taking his hands and moving them as he looked into his eyes, dancing and lip syncing. He let go and spun, giggling.</p><p>“I told you, I’m not interested, please stop following me around and touching me.”</p><p>They both turned their heads to see someone clearly being bothered by some creep.</p><p>“Back off, mate,” Dan huffed to the guy. When he refused to leave, he spoke louder. “I said back off.”</p><p>“Are you really trying to pick a fight? Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean—“</p><p>“I said back off, mate, and put your grimy hands away. I could get you banned from every gay bar in London in a second. I’ve got connections, you know,” Dan growled, “Leave him alone. Get the fuck out of here if you don’t know simple fucking manners and can’t follow basic fucking rules.”</p><p>When the guy questioned Dan’s threat, Dan furrowed his brows as he glared at him, then looked at Phil. He stepped away from Phil and towards him, towering over him by at least a foot.</p><p>“Are you gonna piss off?”</p><p>“I was just trying to get him—“</p><p>“That’s not what I asked,” Dan corrected. With the thickness of his lashes, his eyes looked jet black. “I asked, are you going to piss off, or am I going to have to shove—“</p><p>“I’ve got him, Daniel,” a security member grabbed the creep from behind and led him out of the club.</p><p>“Thank you kindly,” Dan smiled. Before Phil could even begin to comprehend what had happened, Dan’s friend was butting in.</p><p>“And who is this, Dan?” he smirked, still swaying slightly to the beat of the song. It was the guy who Phil had seen talking to him earlier. Dan awkwardly chuckled and looked at Phil for his name, pushing some of his hair behind his ear.</p><p>“Phil,” Phil introduced himself. He was still a bit shaken up by the thing with the creep, but he tried to pay attention to Dan again in the same way as before.</p><p>“Phil,” Dan repeated, “My, um...friend.”</p><p>“Your friend of what?” he asked, checking his phone. “Two hours?”</p><p>“Shut up, Tyler,” Dan playfully hissed.</p><p>“Phil here is tonight’s trade, huh?” Tyler asked, looking drunker the longer Phil looked at him.</p><p>Dan glared at him the same way he did with the guy that had just gotten kicked out. In a less playful tone, he spoke, “Shut up.”</p><p>Phil was blushing again and his heartbeat was speeding up. He wasn’t exactly sure what Dan’s friend had meant, but it seemed like it was something to be proud of, or a compliment of some sort. By his tone, it had also sounded pretty suggestive. “I’m sorry, I don’t—“</p><p>“Have you ever heard of it?”</p><p>“N-No.”</p><p>“Well...um…”</p><p>Tyler interrupted, “Trade usually means someone you fuck around with…”</p><p>Eyes widening, Dan looked at Phil, then down to Tyler to interrupt him. “Tyler.”</p><p>“And you trade something for it, like money or drugs, but in this context I believe Dan thinks you’re a hot…”</p><p>“Tyler.”</p><p>Tyler laughed, slurring his words slightly, “A hot, masculine man he’d like to have sex with.”</p><p>“Oh…” Phil bit his lip.</p><p>“TYLER! Did you not hear me say ‘Tyler’ like three times? That meant STOP FUCKING TALKING!” Dan yelped.</p><p>Tyler rolled his eyes, “If you weren’t gonna tell him, who was?”</p><p>“I—I was—“ Dan gave up on whatever he was trying to say and grabbed Tyler by the shoulders. He muttered in his ear, then turned him around with a shove, “Go away and get Jodie to play something for my birthday.”</p><p>“I’ll leave you two alone,” Tyler smirked. </p><p>Dan waved him goodbye with a slightly annoyed look on his face, then paid his attention back to Phil.</p><p>“Hi,” Dan said.</p><p>“Hi,” Phil answered as the song blaring from the speaker changed.</p><p>“Sorry about that. That’s why I never usually have my friends...um, participate...in things like this,” Dan attempted to explain.</p><p>“Sorry I didn’t properly introduce myself. You’d think I’d, like, know better…”</p><p>“It’s cool.”</p><p>Although towering above him, Dan looked incredible. </p><p>Phil asked, “But what you said…your friend Tyler said…”</p><p>Dan spoke but not a word made its way to Phil’s ears. Instead, he was mesmerized by his gorgeous face and intoxicating perfume. After speaking, he looked down at him expectantly for an answer.</p><p>“Oh, ‘m sorry, I didn’t really hear you because of the music,” Phil lied.</p><p>“I said what...what Tyler said was true,” Dan bit his lip, “I can be awkward sometimes, it’s annoying, I’m sorry, Phil. Tyler kind of ruined it, because now I’m embarrassed, and—“</p><p>“How did you want it to go?” he asked, looking up at him hopefully.</p><p>“Wayyy more casual than that,” Dan chuckled awkwardly, looking away in shame. </p><p>“Then make it casual,” Phil said, “Pretend like that didn’t happen and do what you wanted to do.”</p><p>“O-Okay,” Dan replied, slowly filling with confidence again. He adjusted his tiara with a smile, “Let’s dance some more, then.”</p><p>And they did, Phil having much more of a blast than he had anticipated. Moments were intimate and flirty but also filled with jokes, short stories, tripping and awkward moments. Dan eventually took off his shoes and had someone take them off somewhere so that he could be closer to Phil’s height. Songs would come on that Phil knew the lyrics to and Dan would be surprised as they sang or lip synced it together.</p><p>“You know this song?” Dan asked loudly, “I’ve always thought of it as a hidden gem.”</p><p>“I’m still gay!” Phil yelled over the music, “I just didn’t know about drag queens.”</p><p>Dan laughed loudly, squeezing his bicep.</p><p>“What?” Phil chuckled.</p><p>“You just screamed ‘I’m still gay’,” Dan laughed, “It’s funny.”</p><p>“Oh, right,” he said, blushing slightly. </p><p>“I’M STILL GAY!” Dan screamed, and because of the loud music and talking, his announcement barely turned any heads. He laughed hysterically.</p><p>“I’M GAY!” Phil added, laughing with him, “STILL!”</p><p>That made Dan laugh even harder, so much so that he was sarcastically getting onto Phil for ruining his mascara from tears of laughter.</p><p>“Hey, Phil,” Dan asked, “I was wondering if you wanted to maybe go somewhere else so we can...talk?”</p><p>“Yeah, sure, where were you thinking?” Phil asked back, not catching on at first until Dan leaned down to whisper in his ear.</p><p>“A hotel room,” he said, touching his lower back. He looked at Phil unsurely, chewing down his lip a little. “Only if you’re interested…you’re just...so fucking adorable,” he looked him up and down.</p><p>“H-Have you seen yourself perform?” Phil attempted to flirt back, “You’re...stunning, and...gorgeous...and talented, too.”</p><p>Dan giggled, “You’re so shy. I’m not gonna hurt you.”</p><p>“You’re...intimidating,” Phil admitted.</p><p>“How so?”</p><p>“You were a lot taller than me with the heels on, and you just seem to have so much confidence.”</p><p>“Yeah, in a way, I guess...”</p><p>“A lot prettier than me, too.”</p><p>“I beg to differ, Philly,” Dan smirked at Phil’s reaction. “But really, you have nothing to worry about, okay?”</p><p>The more they talked about it, the more it boosted Phil’s confidence, giving him the idea to flirt with Dan even more. Soon, Dan purred, “Come on, Philly. Let’s go ‘talk’.”</p><p>“O-Okay,” Phil stuttered, feeling a little unprepared. </p><p>“What, is there a problem?” he teased, batting his lashes. The way he said it sounded so smooth and had Phil forgetting that Dan had been awkward before. He casually got out his phone and opened a tube of lipgloss, using his phone camera as a mirror to rub it across his lips to get them shiny again. Phil had no fucking idea where he was getting these things from. Somewhere in his costume, he supposed.</p><p>“No...let’s go,” he agreed.</p><p>Dan pulled Phil to the wall right where the entryway to the back rooms was.</p><p>“Wait here, okay?” Dan requested, their faces inches apart as he capped his gloss. He hesitated, as if he was going to continue, then watched Phil nod, “Hold this for me while you’re at it.”</p><p>Clutching the tube in his hand, Phil watched him before placing the lipgloss in his pocket.</p><p>Dan didn’t take long to come back, wearing a coat and holding the strap of a bag on his shoulder. “You haven’t seen PJ ‘round, have you?”</p><p>“Erm, no, do you want me to—“</p><p>“No, no, no, it’s alright, I’m sure he’s busy, let’s not bother him,” Dan blurted. “We just need to wait a moment.”</p><p>Phil nodded unsurely, watching Dan peek back and forth from the stage to the back entryway. A loud series of cackles and laughs erupted for a moment, then Dan rushed forward, hissing at Phil to stay there.</p><p>“You going home, Danny dear?”</p><p>“Yes, I am. I’m much too tired to keep dancing, thank you for making it such a great birthday for me,” Dan smiled as him and multiple other queens exchanged air kisses on each cheek. He cut their conversation as short as he possibly could, watching the door to the dressing room completely close before he heaved the back door open and made a face at Phil.</p><p>“Are we...like, sneaking out, or something?”</p><p>“Sort of—just get away from the door and out to the alley,” Dan said quickly, grabbing his forearm and waving down a taxi.</p><p>As Phil opened the car door for Dan, he wondered why he was staying in drag, but couldn’t focus long enough to dwell on it too much before he was inside the car himself and they were driving off.</p><p>In the car, Dan called the nearest hotel they were heading to and requested them a suite with a nice view of the Thames right in front of the driver. He even asked for a suite on the “least occupied floor” which had Phil desperately avoiding eye contact with the person driving them there. He probably couldn’t hear the call with the traffic, or so Phil hoped.</p><p>“I have protection,” Dan whispered after he had hung up. He looked into his eyes. When he was able to read his expression, he leaned in more, curling his body into him in a concerned way rather than seductive, “Don’t be scared. Just make sure you talk to me, yeah?”</p><p>Phil nodded.</p><p>“I was going to do what I usually try to do, like…” Dan tried to explain, “Be more flirty and tease you more, but I feel like I can be more honest and open with you, y’know?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I dunno, it all sounds stupid now, just forget it,” Dan scoffed to himself. He looked around, then smirked and closed the partition in between them and the driver.</p><p>“Any interest in giving me a birthday snog on the way?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. VI. It’s My Birthday, And I’ll Fuck Who I Want To</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>smut 4 u</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once they arrived at their hotel room, Phil could hear his heart beating in his chest. He closed the door behind himself, sighing quietly.</p><p>Dan struggled to pull off his heels, but once they were off, he walked over to the sofa chair by the window. The room was dimly lit by a lamp and the curtains were closed, keeping them hidden from the city outside. </p><p>“Should we...” Phil began to speak, watching Dan lift his bag from his shoulders.</p><p>Dan placed the bag on the chair, looking around the room, then to Phil. “Hm?”</p><p>Phil felt his hands shaking upon realizing how weird of a situation he was in. Not bad, just completely unfamiliar.</p><p>It had been so long since he’d done something like this, with such impulse. He did want to proceed, however, so he ignored the slight queasiness in his stomach and watched Dan move around the room gracefully instead.</p><p>“I was wondering if you were going to bring up…?” Phil spoke, his words trailing off.</p><p>Dan pursed his lips, “Eventually. I’ve been avoiding it, honestly.”</p><p>“Do you think we should talk about it?” Phil asked, “It’s somewhat of a big deal, but...you’re making me nervous, Dan.”</p><p>“My apologies, I didn’t mean to,” he replied, stepping closer to him.</p><p>Dan touched Phil’s chest, eyes surveying his face. He was hesitating, looking through his lashes into Phil’s eyes—which was sexy, but he was tiptoeing around the question.</p><p>“Dan…”</p><p>Finally giving up, Dan muttered and looked away, “I know. The rule. The fucking rule.”</p><p>He said it sadly, with a tinge of guilt on his tongue and more hesitance in the way he rubbed Phil’s chest.</p><p>“I don’t know what you think of it, but frankly, I don’t care,” he said, gaze back on Phil’s face, “It’s my birthday and I’ll do what I want. I didn’t get all dressed up, perform my heart out for tips, and get to know you just to go home and go to sleep right away, you know, Philly?” Dan casually shrugged his coat off, “I want to fuck, dammit.”</p><p>Phil looked into Dan’s eyes, checking out his body no longer covered by the coat. He’d removed his tights and everything underneath that kept him confined to a feminine figure—he had changed into a skimpy dress. A really, really skimpy dress, that allowed Phil to feel his perfect curves and soft skin. </p><p>And he did—he brought them closer with a step forward and was reminded of how close they were in actual height. He touched his forearms, then dropped them to feel his hips. He didn’t notice Dan open his mouth to talk, then close it again—but he did notice as he licked his lips and bit down on his lower one.</p><p>PJ’s fucking rule. It made sense for PJ to be so invested in their lives to care whether or not they got involved with customers. Phil had initially supported PJ’s rule—even found it quite responsible, actually, although seeing the queens disagree with him.</p><p>But in his face was Dan, so openly and utterly displeased with it. And fuck, every mere glance at his face made Phil more and more opposed against the rule himself.</p><p>PJ and Phil were friends. What would it mean if Phil chose to break his friend’s rule with Dan? Consent required two people, and in PJ’s case—one being an employee of his and the other a close friend of many years, the two of them breaking a rule he’d set in place. He trusted them not to break it, and Phil knew that PJ wouldn’t give him a free pass for something like this.</p><p>Something about it must have bothered him enough to enforce a rule. Phil didn’t know what it was. Maybe he’d heard in the past that it had caused drama or something, but still, supposedly not enough drama for Dan to be concerned—Dan didn’t care. </p><p>Phil pondered if he was supposed to be the person who did care and shut everything down altogether, the one to save them from whatever happened when PJ discovered his rule was broken—maybe Dan getting fired, maybe PJ never able to trust Phil again.</p><p>He could see himself doing that—if it were any other person. Any one of those crazy queens, he probably would’ve ended their risky business as soon as he realized what was going to happen.</p><p>But Dan.</p><p>Dan was different. Dan had been paying attention to him all night, and letting Phil pay plenty of attention to him in return. They’d talked for a long time, bought drinks for each other, danced together.</p><p>He was also pretty—really, really fucking pretty—Phil remembered the sound of Dan’s laughs with butterflies in his stomach. He remembered how giddy he felt when Dan kissed his hand and how adorable Dan’s beautiful face lit up when he handed him the fifty pound note.</p><p>The last few thoughts of guilt and logic against it faded to nothing.</p><p>He and Dan barely knew each other, PJ and Phil went way back, but he didn’t stop it. He was risking something potentially serious, all for a pretty boy he’d met only hours ago, but he didn’t stop it. He was thinking with his dick, instead of his brain, but he didn’t stop it.</p><p>“Are we gonna fuck?” Dan asked bluntly, his voice higher pitched and getting quieter near the end of the question as he motioned between the two of them. He looked at him expectantly, raising his brow, which appeared strangely considering his real ones were covered over with sharply drawn eyebrows. “Or like, could we, or—are you—I’m just wondering…”</p><p>A crimson blush diffused over Phil’s cheeks as Dan not-so-casually checked him out. The room was silent.</p><p>“Phil,” Dan said softly, “I’ve got us a nice hotel room, I bought you drinks, I’ve flirted with you all night, I let you snog me in the car...”</p><p>Phil watched in awe as Dan kept speaking, leaning his hand on the wall above his head and jutting his hip out.</p><p>“I douched out my heart earlier. So, I wanna know. Are we gonna fuck or not?”</p><p>“I—“</p><p>“Specifically, are you going to fuck me?”</p><p>“Um…if we’re on the same page, then, yes.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>Dan stepped forward and grabbed Phil’s jaw, pulling him into a heated kiss that quickly escalated into using his tongue. And Phil made no effort to stop it—he kissed back.</p><p>-</p><p>Dan’s back hit the wall, his thigh wrapped around Phil’s hip. Their lips stayed locked as they sloppily kissed, their eyes shut tight and their bodies flowing with each other. Phil could taste lipstick, and began to think about how it was probably spreading all over his face. Oh well.</p><p>Their kisses were boundless—no one was around to stare and gawk, after all, so it was pointless to hold back—it made Phil feel good inside from head to toe.</p><p>Hot breaths left Dan’s nose as he panted, desperately kissing him. Phil felt Dan hold onto him by his shoulders, overwhelmed with his urgency—as if there were a ticking time bomb and the world was about to end—there was so much passion with every movement of his lips. </p><p>Even though Dan was still taller than Phil without heels on, he tilted back slightly so that their lips were on the same level. His back arched and his lifted leg and arms held onto him tight to keep their bodies connected.</p><p>“Good?” Dan pulled away and panted into his ear. His manicured thumb gently rubbed his jaw and he eased him with a soft look into his eyes. </p><p>Nodding, Phil replied, “Yeah. I’ve just never kissed a drag queen before.”</p><p>“Allow me to represent us well,” Dan smiled, gripping the back of his neck and bringing him in to kiss again. He lifted his leg up over Phil’s higher.</p><p>Phil took advantage of the fact that it wasn’t some daydream he’d thought of while spacing out at work. It was really happening—he could feel fingers in his hair, hear the sounds of their lips, taste Dan’s lipstick on his tongue, smell the sweet perfume surrounding him, and see a gorgeous face in front of him. Fuck the drinks the bar offered, he’d rather get drunk on this.</p><p>For a long time, they made out, their lips moving in a rhythm over and over again.</p><p>As Phil pinned Dan further against the wall, he trailed his kisses down to Dan’s neck, making him loudly gasp and visibly shudder, tensing up his shoulders. It was adorable.</p><p>“Mm—“ Dan hummed as Phil kept kissing the skin. He smiled, urging Phil by bringing him closer. His fingers woven in Phil’s hair, Dan playfully murmured, “Don’t go too overboard now, Philly.”</p><p>Phil let go, remembering that this was technically supposed to stay a secret, so the less evidence, the better.</p><p>“Sorry, you’re just pretty,” Phil apologized, still kissing his neck but being more weary.</p><p>“Oh shush, Philly,” Dan giggled.</p><p>Dan’s bottom lip stayed in between his teeth as Phil left wet kisses across his shoulder. The dress was loose and showing so much skin, his hair was falling in his face, his chest was flushed. Dan flashed Phil a smirk, pushing his hair back as Phil moved his face away from his neck.</p><p>It was hard for Phil not to stop and stare at his face, glinting from the lamp light. The makeup on his face was sharp and precise, his eyeliner and brows coming to perfect points. His lipstick was smudging, but still had the outline from the rounded overdrawn lines underneath.</p><p>But those were just bonuses—Phil had only met Dan hours ago, and he knew Dan was a beautiful person, inside and out.</p><p>“What?” Dan asked. His question made Phil come back to reality.</p><p>Dan looked back and forth from Phil’s eyes to his lips, his lashes fluttering with every blink. He placed his hand gently on the side of Phil’s neck, his thumb rubbing his jawline. Phil watched Dan tilt his head—it was the last thing he saw before closing his eyes, because their lips were locked again.</p><p>All Phil could think about while kissing Dan—feeling his tongue pushing out of his mouth to press against his passionately—was how gorgeous he was. It didn’t matter if he was dressed up or not, or trying to be sexy on purpose, or awkward in any way, because he was a goddamn beautiful person. The thoughts repeated over and over in his mind, swirling around as he tried to find a balance between being aware and thinking too much.</p><p>He did know one thing for sure: beautiful people deserved some damn good birthday sex.</p><p>They kissed for minutes on end, pausing a few times to catch their breaths. Whenever Phil opened his eyes back up, Dan would sport a flirty smile, and they’d briefly talk or tease each other until they were kissing again.</p><p>Although the kisses were well timed, a perfect pace of slow and sensual, there was still the anticipation and the rush flowing through Phil’s veins knowing what would end up happening. He slid his hand in between Dan’s legs, hearing him whisper, “Wait.”</p><p>Phil moved his hand, putting it hesitantly on Dan’s hip and asking, “Oh...I’m sorry. I should’ve asked. What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Nothing, um...do you...do you know what tucking is, Phil?” Dan questioned.</p><p>Phil furrowed his brows. “No.”</p><p>“Well, you know how on stage I was wearing that costume?” Dan waited to keep speaking until Phil nodded. “So, to look like we don’t have dicks while we’re in drag, us drag queens...tuck. I have to...untuck.”</p><p>“What does...do you...how…” Phil stammered, not sure if he was supposed to offer to help or not, because it would be rude, but maybe he’d be better off not trying to help, because he wouldn’t know what to do...</p><p>“It’s okay, I just wanted to tell you because it’s really fucking weird,” Dan said, “When I take off the tape.”</p><p>“Tape?”</p><p>Nodding, Dan touched his chin gently. “Just keep your eyes up here, please.”</p><p>Phil nodded and watched Dan’s face as he cursed and complained.</p><p>“Ow. Okay, it’s gonna hurt for a minute, but it’s fine.”</p><p>“Oh my god. If I would’ve known you did that I would’ve told you to take it out ages ago, that must be so uncomfortable, I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“That’s okay, I’m used to it.”</p><p>Phil hated hearing people say that.</p><p>“Do you do that every time you get in drag?” Phil asked.</p><p>“Only when I plan on wearing leotards or catsuits or whatever, which is most of the time, so...yes?” Dan answered. “It’s just better if some homophobic or transphobic asscunt is questioning whether or not I’m a woman when I go outside of the club. They might see, and be like, ‘okay, she’s wearing makeup and looks like she has a vagina, she’s a woman’, which is incredibly ignorant, but it’s better than being harassed, although I still get catcalled sometimes when I’m out.”</p><p>Phil awkwardly nodded.</p><p>“Okay, I made that really dark, really fast. But anyway, you can actually tell I’ve got a dick now,” Dan said bluntly. “It’s back!”</p><p>“Back again,” Phil replied, not even realizing that he’d said it. He blushed as Dan started to laugh his fucking ass off.</p><p>His skin was on Phil’s again, arms on his shoulders as he laughed. It was the loudest, best laugh that Phil had caused all night—it was so cute.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you,” Dan giggled, sighing and laughing some more. “That was just really funny.”</p><p>“I don’t even know why I said that,” Phil chuckled and facepalmed, “It was stupid...I didn’t ruin the mood, did I?”</p><p>Dan scoffed, “It makes me want you even more, nerd.”</p><p>One of Dan’s hands grabbed his hair and his lips pressed to his. Pushing the limits, Phil reached up under Dan’s dress to touch his bare skin instead, holding onto his waist.</p><p>“Mmm,” Dan hummed, rolling his hips into Phil’s slowly. “Touch me more.”</p><p>Wanting to hear him moan again, Phil experimented, touching his thighs and feeling his curves. He lightly dug his nails into his skin, dragging his hands up as far as they could go before being stopped by the fabric of his underwear.</p><p>Dan encouraged him by nodding and rubbing his jaw with his thumb again. Tilting his head, Phil sighed as their tongues slipped against each other. He held his curvy hips, easing him back against the wall as he felt nails scratching down his back, through his shirt.</p><p>When Dan rocked his hips forward again, Phil grabbed his ass. Under his breath, Dan whispered something that Phil had to make absolutely sure he heard correctly. So he hoped to himself that he would say it again, moving his mouth further from Dan’s lips and onto his neck instead. Phil squeezed at his thighs, Dan and did say it—much, much louder.</p><p>“Daddy,” he moaned. Phil withdrew from his neck as Dan made puppy eyes and sucked in his bottom lip. He looked irresistible, batting his lashes with his mouth inches from his. “Sorry—”</p><p>“It’s okay. It’s really hot,” Phil couldn’t stop himself from grabbing Dan and kissing him with energetic lust, hearing him quietly squeak in surprise.</p><p>The way the syllables spilled from his lips sounded just as heavenly as his moans. Even if Phil didn’t have a daddy kink, he was sure Dan could’ve convinced him into having one right then and there.</p><p>“Does that mean you like being dominant then?”</p><p>“Mmm—“</p><p>Dan mumbled, “Yes?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Phil pressed their lips together. </p><p>“Good,” Dan murmured, beginning to smile. “You can...you know, be open with me. Tell me if you’re uncomfortable. It…” he smirked a bit as Phil kissed his jaw, “It won’t ruin it for me.”</p><p>“Same here,” Phil replied and placed his hand on Dan’s neck gently.</p><p>Dan gasped, “I-I have a thing with my neck, you know…”</p><p>“I can tell,” Phil said, boldly kissing his neck. He sucked on the perfect spot that was making Dan mewl more, and as soon as he bit down, he successfully retrieved his first real moan from him—the kind that made him close his eyes and throw his head back. </p><p>“Usually, I don’t like—“ his eyes were widened, “Stuff with my neck—“</p><p>Phil hesitated, “What?”</p><p>“Like, people touching my neck,” Dan said, quickly following up with, “But I like it with you.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“Mhmm.”</p><p>Slowly, Phil put his fingers on Dan’s neck, sliding them to the front to hold it gently. Dan’s brown eyes were wide as he looked down, putting his hand on Phil’s pale wrist, but instead of pulling it away, he slid it further up to make Phil’s fingers squeeze his neck slightly. He looked back into his eyes, not with a look of fear, but more of submission. Phil had no idea why Dan was trusting him so much, but he went along anyway.</p><p>“I’ll let you choke me later,” Dan offered, “If you want.”</p><p>“I-I’ve never done it before,” Phil admitted.</p><p>“Thought so,” Dan looked down at their hands again, holding Phil’s, “You have such pretty hands, you know?”</p><p>He’d never seen his hands that way before—being pretty. His hands were smaller than Dan’s, his fingers were thinner and his hands were gentle looking, while Dan’s were bigger. Dan’s hands still seemed soft and delicate, especially with the nail polish and foundation, but ironically, they almost seemed less feminine than Phil’s.</p><p>“I guess you’re right,” Phil said, watching as Dan lifted his hand to what he presumed would be a kiss. </p><p>But instead, Dan nodded and hummed happily, slowly opening his mouth to take Phil’s thumb past his deep maroon lips. He fluttered his lashes and bit down softly.</p><p>Gentle at first, Dan sucked on Phil’s thumb, gazing into his eyes. Phil pressed the pad of his thumb down against Dan’s tongue. When Dan eagerly suctioned harder, Phil caressed his chin with the rest of his hand, watching him intently. </p><p>After sucking on his thumb for a while, Dan removed his lips back with a pop and took his index finger into his mouth instead, puckering his puffy, smudged lips around it. His moaning vibrated Phil’s finger and Dan slowly took it deeper into his mouth, his eyebrows furrowed. He batted his long lashes once again, his eyes wide with faux innocence as he gazed into Phil’s vivid blues—then took his middle finger into his mouth next.</p><p>Bobbing his head, he slicked up both in no time. Phil began to slowly push his fingers in and out of Dan’s mouth, forward and back from his lips, so Dan let his jaw hang open as his mouth suctioned. He was beautiful, his eyes gleaming, his lips pushed out, his skin looking perfect, like a porcelain doll. Well, technically more like a blow up doll, but that was a lot less sexy to think about.</p><p>Dan held Phil’s forearm, lowering down onto his knees but still staring up at Phil. Placing his hands on Phil’s thighs, he balanced himself for a moment, then raised his brows curiously.</p><p>“Hmm—“ Dan mewled, his tongue sliding down Phil’s fingers then removing them from his mouth. “Wanna take that shirt off for me?”</p><p>Phil nodded quickly and unbuttoned his corgi shirt, Dan watching him with his lip between his teeth. </p><p>“Wait,” Phil paused. He took his glasses out from the pocket and quickly set them down on the nightstand. Dan broke out into a fit of giggles, grinning widely with his dimple deeply carved into his cheek. Awkwardly, Phil apologized, “Sorry.”</p><p>Dan shook his head, “Don’t apologize. You’re so cute.”</p><p>The corgi shirt dropped onto the floor. Dan’s eyes didn’t even move to glance at it, they stayed fixated on Phil.  His hands undid Phil’s belt quickly, but instead of tossing it off somewhere, he threw it over onto the mattress and smiled cheekily. Phil wondered what that meant for a moment, but soon Dan was unbuttoning Phil’s skinny jeans, which instantly shut down his thought process.</p><p>Together, they got the jeans pulled off, and like before, Dan’s eyes didn’t move—except this time, they were focused on the growing bulge in front of his face.</p><p>Dan spread his legs out slightly to balance himself better. He smiled a little, then looked up to Phil, who nodded to assure him it was okay.</p><p>And even though his hands were a bit shaky again, Phil had never felt so fucking thankful that he’d encouraged Dan to keep going, because he was using his palm and rubbing slowly, up and down. </p><p>His slowness was irresistible to witness, but the anticipation was almost painful.</p><p>“You won’t mind if I call you daddy again, will you?”</p><p>“Not at all.”</p><p>“Mmkay,” Dan said, his face closer to Phil’s waist. He looked up at him with those big, innocent puppy dog eyes that made Phil’s breath hitch. “Let me suck it, daddy.”</p><p>The word was a fucking weapon, drawing Phil in like Dan was a siren in the sea. </p><p>Dan raised his voice to a slightly higher pitch, continuing to rub him, “Daddy...I want it, daddy, I want it. Please, daddy.”</p><p>With every damn word that left Dan’s lips Phil could feel his body reacting, becoming more and more sensitive to his touch. </p><p>It felt physically impossible to deny him. Dan’s makeup covered cheek brushed against Phil’s front, pressing against his hardness, and his eyes were wide and pouty. His smile was innocent looking, and the tone of his voice was sweet like honey.</p><p>“Go ahead, beautiful.”</p><p>Dan hummed happily and pulled down Phil’s underwear to reveal more. “Oh my god, are you a ginger?” </p><p>Phil turned a thousand shades of red.</p><p>“Naturally, yes,” he said softly. </p><p>Dan giggled, “You’ll have to show me a picture of you as a ginger sometime. I’m quite fond of gingers.” He began running his hand down further, sighing to himself, “Goddammit. It’s so fucking cute that you’re a ginger.”</p><p>Okay, Dan switching back and forth from their foreplay to giggling and teasing around was extremely adorable yet also extremely sexy and Phil enjoyed it very, very much.</p><p>Before Dan started, Phil felt the need to ask, “Dan, it’s your birthday, are you sure you don’t want to be, like, receiving—“</p><p>“No, I like to do this, I want to,” Dan quickly shook his head, “Trust me?”</p><p>Phil nodded, then Dan nodded back and started kissing around his hip bones.</p><p>He held onto his thighs to keep balance, pressing light kisses all over, and they progressively became wetter and less gentle. Once Dan’s fingers were gently wrapped around Phil’s cock, he eased back down and made first contact with his tongue to the tip. His tongue was warm as he pressed it into Phil’s slit, and his eyes traveled up to give him a sultry, seductive gaze before looking down and actually wrapping his lips around the head to suck.</p><p>Soft suckling sounds poured beautifully from Dan’s lips, making Phil tug gently at his hair. Dan adjusted himself to hold his cock with both hands, purring and closing his eyes as he bobbed his head. The wet heat enveloping Phil was overwhelmingly good, and he tilted his head back as Dan sighed through his nose and closed his eyes. Feeling Dan’s throat swallow was even better, even tighter—and it was all thousands of times hotter since Dan was all dressed up—something Phil didn’t know he found so attractive until then.</p><p>For a while, he kept his lips completely around his cock, unable to get much noise through except for the occasional low hum. Dan kept eye contact as much as possible, casually bobbing his head with soft huffs through his nose. </p><p>Dan had the head in his mouth, one hand stroking Phil’s cock towards him, and the other holding onto his leg. Feeling Dan swipe his tongue over the slit a few times, Phil reached to touch his jaw, rubbing it soothingly. </p><p>A little smirk curled at the end of Dan’s lips as he heard Phil moan. Phil couldn’t help it, though, with how fucking amazing his mouth felt.</p><p>He turned his head and twisted his wrist around his cock, wanking him towards his mouth. Working his jaw further down, Dan looked up and played with the pace of his movements—going slow and sensual to fast and fiesty, back and forth. His eyes gazing up into Phil’s was almost too much to handle.</p><p>“Dan…” Phil moaned softly, hand placed on the back of his head.</p><p>Dan kept going and moaned, then pulled back, smiling and giggling cheekily. He gave his cock sloppy kisses again, batting his lashes. It seemed like he was trying to use every goddamn trick he had.</p><p>If Dan was trying to win Phil over—to truly convince him that he’d made the right choice to stay, rather than backing out just because of PJ’s dumb rule—it was fucking working.</p><p>And he was proud of it, clearly, by the way he was smirking and being playful. Phil didn’t think he’d ever received a “told you so” in the form of a blowjob before.</p><p>Especially one from a beautiful, charming, and talented drag queen, with lipstick smearing in places he never thought would be and eyes looking at him through lashes that made him melt.</p><p>Pressing his tongue hard on the tip, Dan swirled it around, keeping eye contact until he started bobbing his head. He sunk his jaw down a few more times before pulling back. To Phil, it felt just as good leaving his throat as it did pushing back into it. Dan lifted up more from the floor, still kneeling, but higher up—Phil could hear that he was breathing heavily and his lips were wet.</p><p>Dan backed away slowly, looking up to him. “Hey…”</p><p>“Uh. Hey…?”</p><p>Dan giggled, “Wanna go lay down for me, Philly?”</p><p>Blushing, Phil nodded and went to do so, Dan following eagerly. His heart raced in his chest as he leaned back on the hotel room bed, unable to register its comfort because Dan was there, beautiful and distracting.</p><p>Dan’s eyes watched him steadily, waiting to pounce until he was laying down. He got on all fours, crawling up his body to kiss him suddenly, causing Phil to raise his brows and for Dan to smile cheekily.</p><p>Even though he was surprised, Phil reciprocated, feeling Dan’s big, warm palms touch his shoulders. He tried to not be so tense as he felt Dan settle into his lap, finding himself becoming more relaxed the closer their bodies came together.</p><p>“Philly, touch me,” Dan sighed, slowly rolling his hips forward. “Just a bit, then I’ll get back to you, I promise.”</p><p>Phil blindly reached to touch him through his underwear, soon hearing him moan as he tried to keep their lips locked. “I’ll do it as long as you want me to.”</p><p>The kisses Dan gave him were drawn out and with his lips pressing hard. Phil felt the fabric tent in his hand, hesitantly releasing Dan’s cock from it and exposing him to open air. He swiped his thumb across his slit, hearing him gasp.</p><p>“Mmm, Phil…” Dan sighed, their lips releasing for him to moan. “Keep going, please.”</p><p>As Phil stroked him, Dan matched the rhythm with his hips, guiding Phil’s unoccupied hand to feel. Dan leaned forward, “Your hands feel so good on me. I want you in my mouth again.”</p><p>Phil looked at how serious his expression was.</p><p>“And you better pull my hair or grab my neck this time,” Dan tried to sound threatening, but ended up sounding bratty. He added a quiet “Please.”</p><p>He smirked and raised his eyebrow, able to physically feel the shudder that shook through Dan. </p><p>And in seconds, Dan quickly made his way down his body. No small licks or kisses this time—Dan pushed his lips past the head and lowered his jaw as far as he could go.</p><p>He bobbed his head perfectly, taking him slow and deep and closing his eyes in concentration. Every movement he made felt good. It sent sensations swirling through Phil’s veins—every lap of his tongue, suctioning of his cheeks, twisting of his wrist holding his cock in his mouth—it felt incredible.</p><p>Fortunately Dan knew how to keep the wig out of his face and how to avoid smudging his makeup badly—but most importantly, how to read Phil’s body language quite well and make him feel so damn good. He was focused and it seemed to feel just as satisfying or him as it did for Phil, his hands holding Phil’s cock and jerking him off into his throat. Every time Dan suctioned his mouth a little tighter than before, it sent a shock of electricity pulsing through Phil.</p><p>Phil kept his hand gently on the back of Dan’s head, testing out what pet names he seemed to like, trying to pay enough attention to make sure he would notice if Dan was uncomfortable, but he kept going, and soon it started to feel so good that Phil could barely keep his eyes open to watch. It made Phil think it was his own birthday since it felt like such a reward.</p><p>Dan bobbed his head and sucked on the tip. Without Phil seeing, Dan opened his eyes and looked up at him, his expression totally relaxed and enjoying the feeling of his mouth. He pulled back languidly, “Just keep your eyes closed, Philly.”</p><p>“Wait...what—“</p><p>“Just trust me.”</p><p>So Phil did. Dan kissed down his shaft, dragging his lip. He angled his face differently so that Phil’s cock laid hot and heavy on his cheek. For a second, he glimpsed back up at Phil, then tried something—he sucked on his balls one at a time, mewling and roughly pressing his tongue down.</p><p>“F-Fuck, Dan,” Phil felt for the back of his neck, his hand gently moving with Dan’s head.</p><p>It was fucking filthy. The vibrations of Dan’s lips, wet and slippery and only increasing the intensity of the shockwaves. For a while, Dan gazed up at Phil as best as he could as he sucked and rolled his tongue around. He moaned, his vibrations and hot breaths making Phil buck his hips ever so slightly.</p><p>“I told you to trust me,” Dan peeked up for a moment. He stretched his legs out to get more comfortable, lifting his feet up. “Just trust me and I’ll make you feel so good, daddy.”</p><p>Phil stared at Dan as he flashed him a playful, flirty smile. </p><p>Then he switched sides, attaching his lips and sliding his wet tongue against the rough skin. The drivel from his mouth made his cock slick and easy for Dan to pump the shaft while he sucked on the skin below.</p><p>The sounds from Dan’s lips—attractive, desperate sounding hums—made it difficult for Phil to keep his hips down on the bed. Honestly, they were probably meaningless, as Dan wasn’t being touched at all besides that, but they made Phil feel so good, even if they were on purpose rather than from trying to hold back.</p><p>Phil watched as Dan formed a pattern—starting slow, with his wrist twisting near the base, then his grip would slowly slide up with the pad of his thumb, pressing down into a vein until he reached the top. Then, with his thumb, he traced around the head before pressing into his tip for precome to seep from his slit. He brought his thumb to his plump lips to lick it up, gazing up at Phil with his eyes sparkling. Sucking on his thumb, he looked at Phil through his lashes and he made puckering wet sounds. </p><p>Phil’s shaky fingers held Dan’s head in place, rising up and down, matching the movements of his jaw. Voice deep and smooth, he groaned, “Dan, baby...fuck.”</p><p>Dan mewled, moving his lips to place sloppy kisses on the insides of Phil’s thighs. He pumped his cock with both hands, making sure to use his large palms to fondle him, then swiped his thumb over the top at his swollen head—and god, did his painted nails look so sexy as they slipped around. Peeking up again, Dan smiled, “You’re so hard. You like it, hm?”</p><p>“You’re good at it,” Phil said to him.</p><p>Licking his lips and keeping his smile, Dan nodded. “What’s it feel like? Good?”</p><p>Phil‘s voice was low and sensual, “Like...electricity.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Dan murmured, sitting up to kiss him on the mouth. “You deserve it.”</p><p>“Dan...it’s your birthday,” Phil tried to reason.</p><p>“Shut up,” he said softly, “Shut the fuck up.”</p><p>Dan watched him, smirked, and began to kiss him again. He rolled his hips forward repeatedly into Phil’s, pumping his cock and holding his jaw.</p><p>By this time, Phil gave up any sort of protest or reason. He kissed Dan passionately until his mouth was around his cock again. They came up with a safeword when Phil became concerned about how much Dan was pushing himself, but Dan didn’t seem to need it.</p><p>Dan mewled as he pulled back for a second, “Do you want me to get you to come?”</p><p>Seemingly in a trance, Phil nodded. Dan lifted up for a moment, kissing him as he pumped his cock. With their lips interlocked, Phil could feel the corner of Dan’s mouth smirking—devilishly and divinely dirty at the same time.</p><p>Dan was heaven sent with his sweet gestures and soft words, but hell bound with his sinful movements and seductive voice. It was relieving clear skies and intimidation from a thunderstorm in his loins that, for this moment, Dan was treating him with an act of submission and fondness. Perhaps.</p><p>Perhaps fondness because Phil didn’t know for sure. Their time in the club spent chatting away must’ve been boring to him, surely. But perhaps not, maybe it was a break from the craziness of his life and Dan just needed someone new to talk to. To teach Phil about himself, and himself learn about Phil in return.</p><p>But what did Phil know?</p><p>When Phil opened his eyes, Dan stared into them, smiling and kissing him once more with a happy sounding low hum. </p><p>His hand was still wrapped around Phil’s cock, and he laid down on his stomach beside him. Closing his eyes, he sloppily jerked him off towards his throat until he came. Dan swallowed it down, clearly trying not to flinch too much. But Phil didn’t care. He still looked gorgeous doing it.</p><p>After kissing for a while after, Dan murmured, “Don’t think I’m gonna be able to keep this dress on.”</p><p>“Hm?” Phil gently detached their lips. “Oh, that’s okay.”</p><p>“I can’t usually keep everything on to go all the way,” Dan said, “Some people think I can, but they’re morons.”</p><p>“No, no, I...it’s whatever…” Phil stuttered, still obviously confused.</p><p>Dan giggled, “You’re allowed to have preferences, Philly.”</p><p>“I know, I just…”</p><p>“Just what?”</p><p>“I don’t know what I’m saying.”</p><p>Dan chuckled again, then clarified that he wasn’t laughing at Phil. “It’s okay, whatever you’re feeling. It’s not bad. It’s just...strange to figure out at first. I know.”</p><p>“Yeah. Is it bad I’m having a slight sexuality crisis?”</p><p>With a light sigh, Dan touched Phil’s cheek and shook his head, “No. I felt a little weird the first time I had sex in drag, because it seemed confusing as to why I liked it if I knew I was gay. I was like, ‘what does it mean about my sexuality that I prefer to be ‘feminine’ with a guy sometimes?’ But sexuality isn’t black and white. It’s a lot of grey, too, and…” </p><p>Dan rolled his eyes at himself, “Fuck! I must really be getting old now! I’m practically giving ultimatums on my birthday when this time last year I was about three times as drunk doing god knows what. Whatever, anyway...gender roles are bullshit, it’s okay to have certain preferences as long as you don’t present them in an offensive way, which you’re not, and it’s not insulting to my masculinity or whatever that…” he made a gesture to his makeup covered face, “This is attractive to you. Some people I know would rather die than do anything sexual in drag. But for me, it makes me feel more confident, so...I don’t mind it.”</p><p>When Phil took his words into consideration, nodding and looking into his eyes, Dan smiling and face palming.</p><p>“Great, my little speech was a total boner killer, wasn’t it?”</p><p>“No, it was cute,” Phil told him, “And very intelligent and...what’s the word...woke of you.”</p><p>Dan laughed, throwing his head back, “Good to know! Sometimes I feel like the weight of some of my fucking wigs are pressing down on my head too hard and making me lose brain cells.”</p><p>Laughing just as intensely, Phil gazed up at him and said, “It was great and informative.”</p><p>“Right, okay,” Dan said, “Another reason why I think the ‘no fucking customers’ rule is bullshit. As a drag queen, I dress and perform to be sexy, so why can’t I...whatever. Let’s get back to it before I go off on another tangent.”</p><p>“I’d love to hear more tangents later though,” Phil told him.</p><p>Dan reattached their lips with a giggle and a soft mewl, “Oh, I can start a tangent of just about anything, honey.”</p><p>Phil couldn’t help but smile at Dan’s sassy tone, chuckling and trying to kiss back as best as he could. His own laughter made Dan laugh more, too, crinkling his nose and grinning.</p><p>“You’re too cute,” Dan murmured, pecking his nose. “Oh! Better take these hoops out. We’ll get to my dress in a minute.”</p><p>He gently removed the hoop earrings dangling from his ears, setting them down on the nightstand then going back to kiss Phil.</p><p>As their lips collided and parted, Phil squeezed Dan’s ass again, feeling over his underwear. He sprawled his hands out across his bum to feel the fabric’s feminine fit and softness, with the added smoothness of his skin. Dan wrapped his thighs around Phil’s hips to allow him more access to touch and feel him. </p><p>Their lips pressing together felt amazing and intense. Since he was so close to Dan, Phil could hear him heavily breathe in and out, softly moaning and whimpering. He was waiting for the perfect moment to catch him off guard, keeping his touches and squeezes rhythmic.</p><p>He spanked him, and Dan groaned an oh god, arching his back purposefully.</p><p>“Kinky fucker,” Dan sighed as Phil kissed his neck.</p><p>“Could say the same about you.”</p><p>“You sure could. Now do it again.”</p><p>Phil hesitated, so Dan lightly put his hand on his face to move it so they could make eye contact.</p><p>“Said you like to be dominant, right?”</p><p>“Yeah…”</p><p>“Be more dominant, then.”</p><p>“I—I don’t know, it’s been a while—“ Phil stuttered unsurely. Was it his nerves or the fact Dan was literally talking into his ear, pretty hips sat right on his lap? “I’m not sure—“</p><p>“You still have it in you, I bet. Come on, daddy.”</p><p>They stared at each other, and Dan went ahead and moved back, going on all fours and turning sideways over his lap. He flung his hair and arched his back in a seductive way, sitting up straight with his hands caressing his thighs.  Gazing at him, he started stretching his arms and body out again, his knees bent and feet up in the air, his head tilted, his hands spread out across the bed, and his back in that perfect arch.</p><p>“Daddy,” Dan was lifting his hips up and rolling them back down, “Spank me, please.”</p><p>Phil watched in awe.</p><p>“Come on. I want it.”</p><p>With more hesitation, Phil gave Dan what he wanted, less and less playful each time. The smacks gradually become harsher with the goal of making Dan gasp.</p><p>Dan kicked his feet in the air and sucked in his bottom lip. When Phil’s hand landed harshly on the skin again, Dan jumped with a soft squeak. Over and over, he spanked him until Dan insisted on taking his underwear off.</p><p>Once they were taken off, Dan bit his bottom lip and looked up at Phil. Not much was covering him, especially since the dress he was wearing had been tugged every which way. Dan had been teasing Phil all night, and imagining another second of not touching more of his body was torturous, so as soon as Phil got the chance he gazed and touched and called him beautiful because he really, really was.</p><p>Batting his lashes, Dan held Phil’s chin. “I like that you’re being rough with me, I’ve been such a slut tonight.”</p><p>Phil’s eyes sparkled as he gazed at Dan.</p><p>“Told you so. ‘Not so sure’ my ass, Philly.”</p><p>“Hey,” Phil playfully scolded, “I’m okay with anything involving your ass, though.”</p><p>Dan’s jaw sarcastically dropped as he sat up and put his hands on Phil’s shoulders, “Look who’s confident now. If that’s all it took, I would’ve done that at the club.”</p><p>Phil blushed as Dan kissed him with a smirk. “What, the…”</p><p>Laughing at his reluctance, Dan said, “The blowjob? Yes, Phil.”</p><p>“Sorry, I work in a boring office building, remember?” he reminded him. “I’m not supposed to, like, swear and stuff.”</p><p>“And I work at a place with crossdressers, clubbers, stupid sluts, and dumb whores,” Dan teased, “So be as vulgar as you want around me.”</p><p>“Okay…” Phil replied sheepishly.</p><p>“I’ll tell you more about that later, I miss your mouth. A lot,” Dan murmured, grabbing Phil’s hair and kissing him.</p><p>It was so, so rough.</p><p>Their lips connected and they sloppily kissed like before when Dan was against the wall, Phil’s hands holding his grinding hips.</p><p>“Was it okay that I called you baby?”</p><p>“Fuck, Phil, it was,” Dan nodded, “Call me anything. Now let’s get this dress off.”</p><p>Eager to do so, Phil reached for the bottom hem to lift it. </p><p>“Wait, shit—I think it might be easier if it comes off downwards, so I don’t have to take my wig off, because it will get all tangled and everything—“ Dan spoke, scrambling up and sitting at the edge of the bed. “Here, Philly, come pull the straps off.”</p><p>He settled behind Dan and gently touched his shoulders, hooking his fingers under the straps.</p><p>“Okay, I don’t have a corset on, but I’m hoping if you just pull it down—“</p><p>Phil was very careful with his movements, feeling the satin fabric against his fingertips as it fell down Dan’s back. It was a slip dress, no zippers or buttons, causing Phil to wonder how in the hell he got the dress on in the first place.</p><p>Dan helped him pull it down past his hips.</p><p>“Maybe it won’t rip—“</p><p>The dress tore. The sound of it was loud and obvious, there was no way Phil could fake that it hadn’t. Plus, it was on the side of Dan’s thigh, they could both view it perfectly. The fabric unevenly ripped as they had stretched it over his skin.</p><p>“Dammit! I thought it was gonna be loose enough!” </p><p>“I’m really sorry,” Phil quickly apologized, blabbering about that it was probably his fault for ruining it and—</p><p>“It’s okay,” Dan interrupted, turning with a soft, understanding look on his face. “I’ve got plenty like it. If it was super valuable I wouldn’t have worn it for this. Learned that the hard way. But really, it’s no big deal.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“I’m sure.”</p><p>“H-How much was it?” Phil asked, looking up at him.</p><p>Dan scoffed, “Psh, I dunno. Couldn’t have been more than two hundred fifty pounds.”</p><p>“Two hundred fifty?”</p><p>“Yeah, but that’s nothing. I made that much in tips tonight, easy.” When Phil still looked uncertain, Dan continued, “It’s fine. Trust me.”</p><p>He hesitantly nodded.</p><p>Dan tore the rest of the slip dress off to expose the rest of his beautiful body Phil hadn’t seen yet, and god was it perfect. His skin was smooth in some places and goosebumped in others, there were cute random patches of freckles, and even his ‘imperfections’—if they could even be deemed that—were admirable.</p><p>Instinctively, he shuffled back once Phil leaned forward. Phil kissed his neck and collarbones, whispering for him to lay down. And immediately Dan rested his head on a pillow, dragging it down a bit as he stretched his legs out—his long, beautiful legs. It almost made Phil feel like he was crazy with how obsessed he was becoming with them, and the rest of Dan’s body, and Dan in general.</p><p>Phil kneeled to kiss his stomach and hips. He was able to rub and gently squeeze at his skin, taking everything in. The warmth radiating from his body was so comforting and his thighs were gorgeous up close, not just from a few feet away, when Phil watched Dan perform. More than anything in that moment, he desired to make Dan feel as beautiful as he was perceived—he wanted to make him moan and shudder, to overwhelm him with good feelings.</p><p>Leaving kisses against his warm, smooth skin, Phil anxiously looked up at Dan, who seemed to be enjoying himself, but it had been a while since he had been between someone’s legs, hence his nerves. Should he keep going in somewhat blindly, or tell Dan what he was feeling, or move on to something else? For a little too long, he pondered, which eventually made Dan notice.</p><p>“Everything okay?” Dan asked, moving his hand from his thigh to Phil’s jaw. He gently stroked it with his thumb.</p><p>“Yeah, just...haven’t done this in a while,” Phil admitted, “I’m nervous.”</p><p>“Aww,” Dan teased, smiling fondly and batting his long lashes. “No need to be, Philly. Just do what feels natural, you know, what you think will make me feel good. I’ll make sure to let you know what I‘m feeling.”</p><p>“Okay,” Phil said shyly, then began to kiss closer to Dan’s perineum. Dan’s breath hitched, then he softly gasped when Phil pressed his tongue to the skin, licking down until it was against his entrance.</p><p>It took him a few moments to build up the confidence, but he was soon using his tongue more forcefully. The pitch of Dan’s voice went back and forth between deep moans and shallow whines.</p><p>“Fuck, Phil,” Dan panted, his fingers in Phil’s black locks. “Feels so good when you do that.”</p><p>“Yeah? Like this?” Phil asked, demonstrating again. </p><p>“Yes, yes, yes,” Dan whined, nodding quickly and tugging at Phil’s hair. As Dan stretched out his leg, Phil’s tongue just slightly entered him, making him jump and squeal. “That’s literally perfect.”</p><p>Thinking about it, Phil had never been with another guy so whiny and submissive as Dan and he loved it. With how brave and bold Dan had looked in the club, he didn’t really expect for him to fall apart like this, to be so willing to give his power away and let Phil be in control. He kept praising him in between the wet sounds—beautiful, breathtaking, gorgeous, pretty, stunning, an angel for me.</p><p>When he caught Dan with his eyes closed, he surprised him by sliding two fingers into him, gentle but enough to make Dan yelp. It didn’t take long for Dan to not be able to handle it anymore.</p><p>“Fuck me. Fuck me now. Fuck me right now,” Dan ordered, tugging Phil’s hair to get him to move. Phil didn’t need to be told twice.</p><p>Dan didn’t even stand up all the way to reach over to grab his bag, unzipping one of the many zippers roughly enough that it could’ve popped off. He dug inside for lube and condoms, throwing them onto the mattress carelessly then dropping his bag with a loud thud onto the floor.</p><p>“C’mere,” he said, kneeling at the edge and pulling Phil’s shoulders to kiss him hard. Phil closed his eyes and within seconds felt his back land back on the soft mattress, then Dan climbed into his lap again, breathless and desperate.</p><p>Sat up with his back slightly leaned against the pillows, Phil made sure his legs were positioned well enough for Dan to be comfortable. He pulled away and found the treasured bottle, then poured lube onto his fingertips, reaching around Dan and feeling his heart pump loudly. Dan panted with all of his chest, watching Phil prep him.</p><p>“Everything feel okay?” Phil asked under his breath, looking into Dan’s beautiful, wide open eyes.</p><p>“Yeah,” he said, “M’ready for it.”</p><p>“Let me see your face,” Phil requested, and Dan turned to him, teeth in his bottom lip. He nodded to assure him, so Phil spent the next few minutes gingerly stretching him until they were both ready for more. Blindly, Dan’s hands fumbled to help open the condom packet and get it pulled down onto Phil’s length.</p><p>Once aligned with Dan’s rim, Phil steadily slid his cock inside. Seeing Dan’s reaction right in front of his face felt like he was fucking dreaming.</p><p>“Oh, shit.”</p><p>He had no idea how he managed to look so beautiful like that. His makeup was smudged and didn’t look as ‘perfect’ as it did when he first walked out on stage but he pulled it off so well. </p><p>Dan sat down hesitantly on his cock, lifting up then back down to get used to the stretch. His face scrunched up as he seethed softly. Phil rubbed his hips with a low moan, urging him to be careful and to take as much time as he needed to get adjusted.</p><p>To get familiar with the feeling, Dan continued to slowly lift and lower his hips onto Phil. As he leaned forward, his palms pressed into the pillow behind Phil’s head, he groaned deeply, until he was finally comfortable enough to ride him.</p><p>Phil didn’t dare to just sit back and watch. He placed his hands around Dan’s ribs, circling his thumbs into his skin as Dan found a steady pace. When Phil could reach, he placed a kiss on Dan’s neck, feeling him arch his back and ride him. After a few movements to get used to the feeling, Dan let out what sounded like a suppressed gasp, reaching for Phil’s shoulders instead of the pillow.</p><p>“Oh fuck. This is gonna be the best birthday sex ever. You’re gonna make me come so hard soon.”</p><p>“I’d hope so,” Phil said, hands on his moving hips and occasionally squeezing his ass.</p><p>Their lips collided roughly, breathing cut short and moans muffled. Dan moved his hips faster—little by little, back and forth—making a warm, fluttery feeling swirl in Phil’s abdomen. </p><p>Of course, Dan was breathtaking and Phil couldn’t keep his eyes away or his mind fixated on anything else—but it was strange to think that he was actually with the random person he’d seen only a month or so ago—with him in the most beautiful, intimate, exceptional way. The thoughts about enjoying more moments like this with Dan were brought back to his mind. About their future, about what they would turn into.</p><p>It felt too good to be true, like fantasy, but every once in a while, reality would seep back in. The familiarity of melodic moans and flustered faces would temporarily shift as Dan smiled to Phil, catching his breath. Or Phil would briefly remember that it was all thanks to PJ that he had even met Dan in the first place, which felt very special, because he felt so connected to him already.</p><p>Then there were a few times Phil was reminded that technically they shouldn’t be doing this, but he quickly disregarded those thoughts. He knew it would be difficult to enjoy the moment if he thought too hard on them. But the guilt would surely seep in later—about choosing to break rules with Dan and damage the trust between him and PJ.</p><p>Would he find out right away and it would never happen again? Would this only happen once, and just be a dirty little secret Dan and Phil shared? Would seeing each other happen frequently so they would have to lie? Phil didn’t know—not only because it was the future, but because he was also still thinking with his dick instead of his brain, and his dick was telling him that Dan felt fucking mindblowing right where he was and he just needed to keep going.</p><p>Dan caused a new eagerness and strive in Phil. A different—but exciting—emotional mutuality.</p><p>If every moment with Dan could feel this way—heart racing, cheeks flushing, his gut and soul all fluttery and tingly—then he wanted him to be in his life for a very, very long time. </p><p>Dan’s chest blushed pink as he worked up a sweat, moaning and rambling about how good it felt. The sound of his shaky voice and of their skin colliding over and over again drew Phil out of his distracting thoughts and back into reality. </p><p>His constrictive walls relaxed and tensed around his length with every grinding motion he made, which was all Phil wanted to focus on. He could overthink, and maybe even talk to Dan, later on. Dan was right in front of him, sinking down on him and moaning loudly. With a slight adjustment of his position, it began to feel different, but good different—Phil started groaning and working his hips upward.</p><p>The next few minutes that followed were a blur. It was only the two of them—in Phil’s mind, everything else was a fading memory. Where they were, what they were laying on, how they had even fucking gotten there—Phil couldn’t answer at that moment, because all that existed to him was Dan and the way they were connected. </p><p>They kissed deep and passionate for a long, long time. Dan taught Phil how to choke him with the belt, quick and harmless. It was all about the timing of the tug that would cut off his air for a split second like a shock to his system.</p><p>At first it was a little awkward, but Phil soon began to enjoy it. Something about having control over something so simple that Dan did naturally and that caught him off guard was fulfilling his dominant side. The way Dan’s eyes would widen and the way he would pause like that was the only thing he was able to focus on was hot. </p><p>“Fuck,” Dan groaned, tilting his head back and closing his eyes slightly. His mouth hung open as he clenched around Phil. Once Phil noticed he was breathing normally again, he tugged on the belt, making him inhale sharply and choke. He looked at him with his eyes wide, then he slowly started to relax. Phil then let go, petting his hair and comforting him as he coughed. He did it a few more times, increasing how long he pulled until Dan politely told him to stop.</p><p>“It’s okay, baby. Too much?” Phil asked, rubbing his back soothingly.</p><p>Dan nodded, placing his hand on Phil’s cheek. “You’re too sweet, y-you know?”</p><p>“I’m just trying to make sure…” Phil said, “Make sure that you’re, y’know, enjoying it.”</p><p>“I am, don’t worry,” Dan murmured, tilting his head and kissing him. Breathing a little heavy, he said, “It...it feels so good, don’t worry about a thing. Let me just—“</p><p>Dan leaned back instead of forward, hands on Phil’s thighs behind him. In the new position, Dan kept his hips moving, only pausing when he needed to reach for Phil’s cock and sink down on it again. One of the times when that happened, he moaned out Phil’s name, getting him to help. Phil held his cock and pushed it back inside of Dan, hearing him let out a loud, satisfied moan.</p><p>He reached out to caress his neck and chest, made his way down to touch his ribs, then slid his hands back up his body. Dan whined when he rubbed his thumbs over his nipples, opening his eyes—and Phil got lost in them.</p><p>They were glossy and dark with lust, and he was trying to look down and powerfully at Phil, but doing quite the opposite. He was submitting. </p><p>Phil worked his hips up again and the haziness in his eyes faded fast. He widened them, soon furrowing his brows and crying out. </p><p>“Dan,” Phil grunted, thrusting his hips up into him. It was slick and smooth, an easygoing, warm and tight sensation as he did it—he reveled in it. His whole body sparked and he realized he was hitting Dan’s sensitive bundle of nerves by the way he sounded.</p><p>“Oh my god, don’t move, that feels fucking amazing,” Dan said dramatically, staring him down as he continued to ramble. Phil held him carefully, watching him bite his lip as his rambles ceased. Dan flashed a flirty smile and let out a beautiful moan.</p><p>Of course it was attractive to see Dan doing things to be sexy on purpose, but when it was natural, like his little smile and rolled back eyes? Gorgeous. So gorgeous that it distracted Phil from realizing he’d said it out loud.</p><p>“Gorgeous,” he murmured, gazing at Dan.</p><p>Dan perked up and giggled. “Who, me?”</p><p>Blushing, Phil eyerolled with a quick nod.</p><p>Their hips met fast, Dan continuing to adorably smile and moan, giggles lacing with his sounds of pleasure. Back and forth, his tone would go from high, wispy, and tight to low, thick and heavy. Masculinity and femininity blending together in many different ways—and Dan pulled it off so well. Phil was so lucky, experiencing such a beautiful thing happening.</p><p>The beautiful thing was winding down. A loud, desperate moan escaped Dan’s throat, raising in pitch as he tilted his head back. The vocal sound was soon replaced by the chanting of “Phil, Phil, Phil,” followed by a deep gasp. Phil bucked harder, the sound of their skin and Dan’s chants and his own moans in his ears becoming all too much. </p><p>“Fuck, I’m gonna fucking—“ Dan wheezed.</p><p>“Come on, Dan,” Phil encouraged him, reaching for his leaking dick and stroking it gently. “Let go.”</p><p>Dan nodded breathlessly. Seeing Dan ready made Phil ready as well. His stomach coiled and soon both of their orgasms crashed through them like a strong ocean wave. </p><p>Dan’s face when he came was breathtaking, with his perfect rosy lips open, a bloom of blush on his chest and his eyes fluttering back, the only words spilling from his mouth curses and cries of Phil’s name.</p><p>“You are so fucking beautiful,” was all Phil could breathe out, his body releasing from the tension only seconds before. </p><p>Barely catching his breath, Dan nodded, which Phil presumed was an acknowledgment of his thanks, or agreeing and being a cheeky smartass, but he was too tired to ask.</p><p>“Need to lay down for a bit,” Dan heaved, getting up off of Phil and lying down beside him.</p><p>“‘Course,” Phil answered. “Was it...was it good?”</p><p>“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dan scoffed, “Yes. If I hadn’t worked all day, I’d go longer. You’re a fucking sex god.”</p><p>Phil chuckled tiredly, cleaning up after the two of them as best he could. “Thanks.”</p><p>“Ughhh, and now I have to get out of drag and shower,” Dan groaned. “Be right back.”</p><p>“Okay...do you...want help or anything?”</p><p>“I’m alright. Thanks though.”</p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Dan stretched with a groan, getting up from bed. His thighs were obviously fatigued and shaky when he first stood up. After picking up his bag from the chair, he went off to the bathroom. </p><p>Phil pulled his boxers back on, settling into the sheets comfortably and turning on the TV.</p><p>As he heard Dan moving around the bathroom, he couldn’t help but wonder what he looked like in there or what he was doing. He heard his feet shuffling on the tile, his bag unzipping loudly, and the sink faucet. </p><p>The shower turned on soon enough, then moments after that music started to play from Dan’s phone. It wasn’t typical drag lip sync music like he was expecting, it was actually something in Spanish. As the songs went through, he could tell Dan had a strange music taste as it ranged from songs he’d expect to hear in the bar from rap songs to more Spanish songs to pop punk from the 2000s. He even heard Dan sing along to some of the songs. Cute.</p><p>Once the shower ended, the music still played, just quieter. Phil listened as Dan hummed and presumably put stuff away. He glimpsed over to see Dan peeking out of the bathroom.</p><p>“Do you think they still have room service right now?” Dan asked.</p><p>“Uh...yeah, it’s twenty four hours, I think,” Phil told him. </p><p>Dan seemed to find a menu on his phone, scrolling through as he walked in and out of the bathroom. </p><p>“Mmm...there’s not much available right now, since it’s far past midnight,” he said, from where Phil could peek and see him. “Cheesecake?”</p><p>“I hate cheese,” Phil replied, trying not to stare. He couldn’t help it, he was so curious about what he looked like, out of drag, close up. </p><p>Dan turned his head to him, looking confused for a second before asking, “Ice cream?”</p><p>“Sure, I can rent us a movie to watch,” Phil suggested. Dan smiled a little, calling for room service.</p><p>While waiting for the food to arrive, Dan dried his hair. After the loud dryer was turned off, Phil heard Dan sigh dramatically and leave the bathroom. He didn’t face Phil at all as he placed his bag back on the chair to dig out an oversized black hoodie. Dan looked down to untie the bathrobe he’d put on and drape it over the chair.</p><p>Once the robe was removed, it revealed Dan’s attractive body again. Phil wasn’t able to peel his eyes away from his back dimples and perfectly sculpted ass and hips.</p><p>To have an excuse to look, Phil told Dan, “I’m gonna take my contacts out.”</p><p>“Okay,” Dan said, pulling the hoodie down as Phil walked by. </p><p>Phil watched him for a moment as they passed, trying to hide his little smile. He picked up his glasses from the nightstand and went off to the bathroom, getting the contacts out. </p><p>When he went back, Dan was laying on the bed, his hoodie covering him like a black hole. The sleeves were long, the hood covered his head and face, and the bottom hem went down to his mid thigh. He had his long, pale legs stretched out all the way, but the rest of his body was curled up. Phil couldn’t tell if he found it cute or concerning. </p><p>A knock at the door occurred, taking Phil out of his thoughts.</p><p>“I have more clothes on than you so I’ll do it,” Dan reasoned, getting up to answer out of courtesy. Pulling his hoodie down over his bum, he quickly passed by Phil, keeping his face covered as much as possible. </p><p>Phil threw out his contacts and wondered why Dan was acting strangely. He was positive that Dan looked beautiful without layers of makeup on, he just really, really wanted to see his bare face as close up as he did when he’d had all the makeup on. Once Dan had received the bowls of ice cream, he held both close to his chest, looking down at the ground as he stuck out Phil’s bowl for him. “Here’s yours.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Phil said awkwardly, climbing into his designated side of the bed. He placed the bowl on the nightstand momentarily to get under the warm, soft covers, then picked it back up and placed it on his lap. </p><p>They ate in silence for a while until Phil remembered he had suggested a movie earlier. He got the TV remote out of the nightstand drawer, then attempted to figure out how to use the controller. It took him a while, but he got to the movie rental screen, scrolling through the options.</p><p>“Any ideas?” Phil asked, looking over at Dan. As Phil turned, Dan curled into himself, hiding under the covers and inside of his hoodie as much as he could. </p><p>Voice muffled, he answered, “I’m fine with whatever.”</p><p>He probably was, and probably couldn’t really see anyway with his knees pulled close to him, blocking his view of the TV. The movie options were shitty, so Phil just picked some comedy movie, renting it and placing the remote next to him. He’d have to remember to pay for everythingc or at least a decent amount when they woke up again, as long as Dan didn’t ditch him.</p><p>Would Dan ditch him?</p><p>Earlier, he would have bet money that Dan would’ve stayed until Phil woke up and was ready to leave. But with how Dan was acting more recently ever since they had stopped having sex and he had gotten out of drag, he wasn’t so sure about that anymore. Maybe he sounded stupid, but since Dan called him daddy, he had sort of thought he wouldn’t be so...distant. They could at least be cuddling, or talking, or something other than awkwardly laying in bed together as if they were forced to.</p><p>Maybe Phil just needed to invite him to cuddle. That would be polite, and maybe Dan had expectations of how to be treated on hookups and dates and stuff. So Phil asked, “Do you want to cuddle?”</p><p>Dan had adjusted the hoodie entirely so that the side of his face was covered, so Phil could only see his eyes, the tip of his nose, and no part of his lips at all. If he hadn’t been continuously scooping ice cream into his mouth, it would’ve looked like he didn’t even have one at all.</p><p>Dan set his spoon down in the near empty bowl, covering his mouth and nose with the side of his hood, leaving Phil to only see his eyes. He looked at him in a way that made Phil’s heart flutter with hope. But then, he turned back to the movie and simply muttered, “No.”</p><p>Phil went quiet for a moment, swirling his spoon awkwardly into the bowl. “May I ask why?”</p><p>“I’m not really a cuddler,” Dan informed him, going to pick up his spoon again.</p><p>Phil nodded in understanding, taking one of the last scoops of his ice cream into his mouth. “May I ask you another question?”</p><p>Dan paused, holding his spoon in the air above his bowl. “Sure.”</p><p>“Why are you covering your pretty face?” Phil asked.</p><p>Dan audibly sighed, scooping the last bit of melted ice cream into his mouth. “You don’t know that.”</p><p>“Don’t know what?”</p><p>“That it’s pretty.”</p><p>“I have a strong feeling that you are underneath everything,” Phil said. “I mean, I’ve seen you from a distance, so I know you are.”</p><p>“I don’t like people to see me without everything,” Dan admitted, “I’m much more confident with everything on.”</p><p>“Do you do this every time you, like, get with someone?” Phil continued to ask, finishing his bowl and setting it down on the nightstand beside him.</p><p>“Sometimes I would’ve left by now,” Dan admitted extremely quietly, “But I didn’t feel like it. You’re good company.”</p><p>“Oh...uh thanks?” Phil bit his lip, “But I’m really glad you haven’t left. You’re so charming and funny. I’ve had a blast with you the past few hours.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Dan chuckled a bit, “I just don’t think people really like me out of drag.”</p><p>“How come? I’m sure your drag persona isn’t that different from the real you, is it?” Phil wondered.</p><p>“Mmm, not too much,” Dan said, “It’s just Daniel is more likeable. Dan is depressing and lame.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>Dan went quiet again, moving his bowl to the nightstand closest to him as well. “Daniel performs. Daniel is the life of the party, she’s always having fun, looking pretty, getting attention. Dan is boring, he’s more quiet and reserved. He stays inside all day playing video games or browsing the internet, and he eats and sleeps a lot. That’s not very fun or likeable.”</p><p>“There’s got to be more to Dan than just that,” Phil replied, “Plus, who told you that was boring and unlikeable? That’s what I do a lot too, when I don’t work.”</p><p>After another quick glance over, Dan began to speak, “People have told me they don’t like Dan,” he told him, “People have told me they would rather hang out with Daniel than Dan.”</p><p>“Really?” Phil asked.</p><p>“Yeah,” Dan said simply, clearly choosing not to go into more detail.</p><p>“That’s not very...nice,” Phil said, “That’s like forcing you to be two completely different people.”</p><p>“Maybe, but I try not to think about it too much. It does kind of make sense, but…” Dan sighed, “Why are you asking me all of this?”</p><p>“I just would like to see your face without any makeup if you don’t mind,” Phil squirmed around under the covers to get comfortable. “Up close. I’m sure you’re so handsome under there. Being as beautiful of a drag queen as you are, there has to be a handsome man hiding underneath it. Plus, I’ve seen literally every other part of your body now.”</p><p>Dan huffed, cutting his breath off to presumably not come across as rude. He extended his arm out to take Phil’s glasses off, then covered his eyes.</p><p>“Hey! What—“</p><p>Keeping his large hand blocking Phil’s view completely, Dan climbed out from under the covers. Phil could feel him scoot over and sit down on his lap, moving around a bit. He heard the fabric of his hoodie adjust, followed by a long, dramatic sigh. Phil reached out a bit to figure out what was going on, placing his hands on Dan’s torso.</p><p>“Don’t get touchy just yet,” Dan warned, making Phil slide his hands away awkwardly.</p><p>Once Dan got settled, both of his hands were covering Phil’s eyes. “I’m telling you, you’re not going to like plain me nearly as much as compared to me being in drag.”</p><p>“You don’t know that,” Phil said. “I promise you, even if you have scars and bruises and burns on your face, I will still find you beautiful.”</p><p>“I don’t,” Dan whispered.</p><p>“Then why are you so scared to show me?” Phil asked.</p><p>“I never said I was scared,” Dan snapped, “I just don’t want to.”</p><p>“Why not? I wanna know who convinced you that Dan isn’t just as beautiful as Daniel,” Phil tried to look like he was giving him eye contact even with Dan’s soft, warm hands over his eyes.</p><p>Dan kept a scoff in his tone. “Why does it matter to you?”</p><p>“I want to prove them wrong,” Phil told him.</p><p>“He’s a nobody,” Dan mumbled.</p><p>“Who is he, though?” Phil questioned.</p><p>“An ex.”</p><p>“Dan, that doesn’t mean shi—“</p><p>“Just shut up,” Dan removed his hands from Phil’s face, his expression and tone of voice grumpy. “Here. Are you satisfied now? This is what Dan looks like.”</p><p>Phil looked in front of him for a few seconds, taking Dan in. He had taken the hood off of his hoodie to allow Phil to view his face and neck perfectly. He was fucking gorgeous. But, he needed to see him in even finer detail.</p><p>He blindly reached out onto the mattress for his glasses, like Velma, putting them on to really gaze at Dan like he deserved to be looked at. As seconds went by, he noticed more and more beautiful details.</p><p>Constellations of freckles were dispersed over Dan’s cheeks, and he was clearly blushing even though he probably would never admit it, especially at one rosy patch slightly above his jaw. The beauty marks he had made with his makeup before were really freckles, two prominent ones on his dimple and the one near the lower lid of his right eye. His lips were perfectly soft and just as rosy pink as his cheeks, maybe even more. His natural lashes were just as pretty as the fake ones, and allowed Phil to see the color of his irises better, a beautiful deep chocolate color in his bright eyes. Dan’s eyebrows were perfectly shaped as he raised them. </p><p>Dan had put a simple, small golden hoop in his right ear compared to the big dangling earrings he had on previously. Without his nose contour, Phil could see his nose was wider than it seemed and absolutely adorable. His curly hair looked beautiful and even more natural since it had been out of the shower, perfectly sculpting his head.</p><p>Phil just had the intense urge to touch. To see how perfect the skin of his face was—it looked as soft as a cloud, as smooth as glass, as delicate as a cherub. He craved to hold his jaw and look into his eyes and tell him just how adorable he was. How attractive and hot and sexy and flawless he was, even compared to Daniel.</p><p>He had said he wasn’t scared, but he looked like it. His eyes were wide and innocent like before, his lip was slightly in his mouth, his eyebrows were bent a tad in fear. He was precious.</p><p>Dan sat back, watching Phil study his face for a bit before asking bluntly, “What? Are you going to say something, or keep staring at me like I’m a bloody zoo animal?”</p><p>“Dan, you’re beautiful,” Phil told him, “I wish you could see how beautiful you look.”</p><p>“Shut up. You’re just saying that,” Dan huffed, looking down at his hands. He played with his nails nervously. “You’re just trying to be sexy again but it’s not gonna work because I’m not in drag.”</p><p>“You shut up,” Phil mumbled, separating his hands and holding them. “You’re the same person. I’m not going to treat Daniel like just some person I’ve slept with and Dan like someone that doesn’t matter. I called you gorgeous before, and that hasn’t changed. I still know you’re funny and sweet and amazing.”</p><p>Dan sighed, “You’re right, I’m not two people...I just feel like I have to be.”</p><p>“You are just as sexy as you were before while being as personable as you are now,” Phil told him, “I promise you.”</p><p>Sighing again, Dan stretched back, then turned his head to the side. “Why do you have to be like that?”</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“Like, nice. I don’t know how to feel, or what to say, so I’m the one making it awkward. I haven’t felt like I’ve necessarily deserved to hear that, but I know I’ve wanted to...and now that it’s happening...it’s not…uncomfortable, just...scary? It makes me wish partially that you could just be like everyone else and say the same...somewhat degrading things…just so it wouldn’t be so scary...but it’s nice to hear something new…”</p><p>Dan looked at him again, his face completely serious.</p><p>“So, thank you.”</p><p>Phil began to smile, making Dan do so ever so slightly with a bit of a chuckle.</p><p>“Also...I lied.”</p><p>With his eyebrows raised, Phil’s face dropped a little, causing Dan to giggle. Dan’s warm hand touched his cheek.</p><p>“I totally am a cuddler. A needy, clingy, snuggly, fuzzy, warm, soft, sweet, delicate, little spoon cuddler.”</p><p>“I figured,” Phil said.</p><p>Dan giggled more when he saw Phil’s beaming smile again. He kissed his cheek, then softly licked near his lip, tickling Phil.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>“You had ice cream there,” Dan told him, “But I got it.”</p><p>They both laughed, easily falling into a comfy cuddling position, with Phil laying on his back completely with Dan on top of him. His face burrowed into Phil’s neck, Dan used his chest as a pillow for his head, wrapped his arms underneath his, and comfortably stretched his legs out, sighing happily. Phil took his glasses off and placed them on the nightstand as Dan got comfortable, then switched off the TV and lamp. He held Dan’s back and waist until Dan adjusted his hands so that one was petting his hair and the other was touching his bum.</p><p>“Consider this a thank you gift,” Dan murmured, his voice thick with drowsiness. </p><p>Phil massaged him, hearing a calm hum as he fluttered his eyes shut. Softly speaking into his ear, Phil said, “Happy birthday, Dan.”</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. VII. Morning After</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter notes: i apologize it’s been so long guys! since i started college up again i’ve had a lot of stress and anxiety. and last week we got snow in texas, so i was out of work for a while. but i’m happy to be posting again!</p><p>this fic isn’t getting as much of a following as my last one so i’m hoping it will pick up, i’m not sure if i want to go promoting it on tumblr and twitter and stuff lmao.</p><p>i will soon add a link to a doc in my linktree that will have a bunch of reference sources for you for this fic: playlists, my pinterest board, etc. if anyone knows how to use carrd well please dm me because i’d prefer that lmao. it’s too complicated for me, maybe if i was 14 i could figure it out but i’m nearly 19 in a fucking month. when i was 14 i was struggling programming my tumblr blog. now people are making cutesy carrd pages. but do i even feel 18? nope!</p><p>enjoy this chapter and make sure to leave feedback! sorry it’s a little short, i will be posting two at the same time next time i update. if you want, add to the #flooftacom tag on instagram, i wanna see your thoughts, opinions, theories, etc.!</p><p>hope you are all doing well. take care of yourselves.</p><p>-floof dad</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Phil wearily opened his eyes in the morning, the first thing he looked for was Dan beside him, who was holding a pillow to his chest with a small smile on his face. He also happened to be looking back at Phil. </p><p>“You awake?” Phil asked quietly, reaching out to move a curl from his eyes.</p><p>Dan nodded, “Mhm.”</p><p>He blinked a couple times before dramatically yawning, then settled back into the pillow. His warm colored eyes gazed at Phil, looking so pretty as the light peeking in from the window reflected them.</p><p>“How are you?” Phil pet his hair, watching his little smile widen.</p><p>“Mm, to tell you the truth?”</p><p>“Yeah, tell me the truth.”</p><p>“Kinda horny,” Dan admitted, only speaking from the corner of his lips.</p><p>“Still?”</p><p>Dan giggled and nodded, “Mhm. Haven’t been up for too long, but I’ve been thinking about last night. So good.”</p><p>Turning to face him all the way, Phil massaged his curls. “Well, I’d be up for more.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Dan asked, suddenly looking much more awake.</p><p>-</p><p>As he leaned on his forearms, Phil gazed down at Dan below him. “God, you’re so cute when you’re tired.”</p><p>“And you’re cute in your glasses,” Dan smiled sleepily, pushing them up Phil’s nose. His skin was flushed from the compliment, and felt warm and soft as Phil adjusted to hold him. He smoothly rolled his hips forward into Dan, wanting to make him feel as wonderful as he looked, even with his hair disheveled and eyes appearing drowsy.</p><p>“You sure you’re not too tired to be doing this?” Phil asked, and Dan silently nodded and began moving along with his thrusts, to prove his point. He smirked when Phil groaned under his breath.</p><p>Then he pressed his lips to his, too, Phil knowing he was being a cheeky little shit instead of just insisting he was awake enough. Dan was the one to add tongue, tugging at Phil’s hair with one hand, and with the other, placing it on his hip.</p><p>“I’m sure,” he soon added, then attached their lips again.</p><p>It was bittersweet, how much more delicate and intimate this morning sex was. There were even more soft giggles, chuckles and smiles, which Phil deeply adored. Phil found himself kissing Dan—just because he could—much more often than only sharing kisses to keep the heat of the moment passion alive. </p><p>“Go away, pigeon,” Dan randomly blurted, looking over Phil’s shoulder. They both looked at each other, chuckling awkwardly. “Sorry—I didn’t mean—I swear there’s a fucking pigeon trying to look through the curtains. Fucking pervert.”</p><p>Phil laughed and felt a burst of energy in his heart to just kiss him more, because that fucking smile of his was contagious. He gently turned Dan’s face away from the window to look back up, using his thumbs to stroke each cheek in small circles. It drew him back in, causing him to place his hands on his shoulder blades and visibly focus less about the pigeon and more on the moment.</p><p>The moment, the moment. Phil kept remembering that holy shit—he was in the present, and he was with Dan, and he wasn’t going away anytime soon, and he didn’t exactly know why he felt so amazing in his presence but he did. Leave it to Phil to ramble in his mind during sex.</p><p>It was less about desperation and more about pleasure and enjoyment, which Phil enjoyed both, but couldn’t help but be a little more fond of this closeness and comfort compared to the night before.</p><p>Again, he was asking himself why quite frequently lately, but he wound up asking Dan, for whatever reason, “Was this the best birthday you’ve ever had?”</p><p>Dan chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, and it’s about to be the best morning after, too.”</p><p>Smiling, Phil kissed him, then adjusted to hold him as closely as he could manage. He nuzzled his face into his neck, placing more kisses on his skin as he picked up the pace of his thrusts. “You’re so beautiful.”</p><p>The added roughness seemed to hit Dan just the right way. He gasped and rolled his hips forward repeatedly, and Phil feeling Dan’s body constrict perfectly around his cock tied his stomach in knots. </p><p>“Dan—“ he moaned, holding onto his body in a way he’d never done with anyone—easy enough to not hurt him, like he was art, but tightly enough to assure him Dan wasn’t going anywhere, as if they were in zero gravity. Dan seemed to like it, because he was wrapping his limbs around him the same way.</p><p>This time, it was Dan coaxing him to his orgasm, rubbing his back and talking in his ear. They both knew they were being safe, so Dan hummed, “Mmm, you’re close, I can feel. Come while you’re inside me, Philly.”</p><p>Phil groaned in his ear and did exactly that, spilling into the condom. Underneath him, he could feel Dan unraveling, too, scratching into his back lightly and moaning breathily. He sat up, rubbing Dan’s hips as he relaxed.</p><p>With a smile, Dan reached up, pushing Phil’s hair back that had fallen into his face. “Hey.”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“Could you, um, get me a towel please?”</p><p>Phil nodded and cleaned up, watching as Dan made no effort to get ready to leave. So he laid back down next to him, and Dan turned his body towards Phil’s as if it were second nature.</p><p>“Sorry if I’m sweaty,” Dan said.</p><p>“I am too,” Phil admitted, “It’s fine.”</p><p>He rubbed Dan’s chin for a moment before going to his arm, where he slid his hand up and down until he started to make little hmph noises, which grew in frustration.</p><p>Dan finally stopped when Phil stroked his chin and jaw again, practically melting into him. Calmly caressing Dan, Phil leaned his head back and gently closed his eyes. </p><p>“Don’t want to go, to be honest,” Dan said, his voice deep and mostly a murmur. </p><p>“When are we supposed to have left by?”</p><p>“Noon-ish.”</p><p>“What time is it?”</p><p>“Ten-ish.”</p><p>“Mmmkay, we have time, then.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he said with a smile, which Phil could feel as Dan’s cheek was pressed to his stomach.</p><p>Phil never actually fell asleep again, but he did lay there with his eyes closed for a while—enjoying the most tranquil, peaceful moment he’d shared with an actual person—not only by himself—in quite a long time.</p><p>Feeling Dan’s thigh slightly over his, and his sloped shoulder tucked against his side, and his soft, curly hair tickling his neck—was comforting. Unbelievably so.</p><p>Phil wasn’t quite sure if Dan had fallen back asleep. He knew that he hadn’t been able to himself. Maybe if he’d drank more, or if they’d stayed up even later. But he could always sleep at home, and he knew that lying with Dan was unfortunately temporary, so he tried not to let himself get too tired. He already had no desire to get up.</p><p>“I don’t wanna go either,” Phil finally said, enjoying the freedom that a lazy day offered. Nowhere to be, nothing to do, at least not as urgently as a work day required him to be.</p><p>Dan shifted to look at him. “We can try to meet again though, right?”</p><p>“Of course. Just gotta be careful.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Phil’s eyes met Dan’s in a sweet gaze. He petted his hair, tilted his head, and kissed him.</p><p>“Mm?” Dan mumbled, holding his jaw and kissing him back. “Mm, mmkay, we better get up now.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>The whole time he had expected Dan to be ready to go, yet it still felt too soon. It made him feel kind of sad, actually, but he could always go see him again, he supposed.</p><p>“Jesus Christ,” Dan murmured, turned over to look at his phone.</p><p>“What?” Phil asked him, finding his clothes.</p><p>“Nothing, I just have a billion notifications since it was my birthday, and my roommate trying to figure out where the fuck I am,” he said, “I don’t know why he wants me home so bad. We’re bloody adults.”</p><p>“Well, um...don’t think I’m trying to keep you hostage here. Like, I’m in no rush, but if you want to go, you can…” Phil awkwardly replied, “I’m probably just gonna go home and play video games.”</p><p>“Yeah, same,” Dan said, clicking off his phone. “I’d better get dressed and help you clean up too, I guess.”</p><p>“Do you want some money for the room?”</p><p>“Psh, no, it’s fine.”</p><p>Phil came across Dan’s ripped dress, asking about that, too.</p><p>“No, it’s alright, Phil, I promise you,” Dan assured him. “I don’t need any more money.”</p><p>Once they were both ready to leave, they both stood awkwardly in front of the door—Dan carrying his bag and Phil with nothing but his wallet, pretty much.</p><p>Dan glanced at the room, then back at Phil. His cheeks tinted red, and he stuttered, “I-I had um, a lot of fun, with you.”</p><p>“So did I,” Phil said, smiling confidently, then reaching into his wallet. “Let me give my favorite drag queen one last tip.”</p><p>“Phiiil,” Dan whined, trying to hide his face and rolling his eyes a little bit.</p><p>“Just take it,” he said insistently, holding his hand out with a wad of bills.</p><p>“I’m a drag queen, not a hooker,” he sarcastically teased. Looking into his eyes to be sure, Dan quickly snatched up the money and shoved it into his own pocket. “Thank you.”</p><p>Phil shrugged, “It’s no big deal, don’t worry about it.”</p><p>“Except it is,” Dan stepped closer, and his voice got deeper, “Come visit me again sometime, yeah? Wednesday through Saturday. Sometimes Sunday, but usually only once a month.”</p><p>“I’ll see what I can do,” Phil promised, gazing into his eyes.</p><p>Dan unexpectedly hugged him, kissing his cheek sweetly.</p><p>“No, but seriously, come visit me.”</p><p>“Okay. I’ll see you later,” Phil said, opening the door for him.</p><p>Dan stepped through, looking behind him.</p><p>“I’ll see you soon.”</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. VIII. Raise Your (Hello Kitty) Wine Glass</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter notes:<br/>thank you so much for reading friends! i’m at work so i don’t have a lot of time but TODAY’S MY BIRTHDAY! 🥳💜 and the anniversary of phil’s first viddy!</p><p>i appreciate y’all so much :)</p><p>love floof</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dan unlocked the door to his apartment, instantly going to his bedroom and throwing his duffle bag on the floor.</p><p>Luckily, his roommate Gorey was nice enough to bring his other bags home from work—his makeup case, his luggage sized bag of other drag essentials, his cash from the night. He yawned and kicked his shoes off, ditching his skinny jeans for house shorts and making his way to the kitchen.</p><p>“Fuckin’ finally! You’re home,” Gorey loudly shoved the glass door open from the balcony.</p><p>“Have you taken the Ribena?” Dan asked, looking over the fridge shelves.</p><p>“Yeah, I was waitin’ for ya. I’ve got our Hello Kitty wine glasses, too,” he said, “Come out and sit with me.”</p><p>Dan sat at the chair beside Gorey, watching as he lit himself a brand new cigarette. He was wearing his typical hot-weather smoking outfit—a baggy, buttoned shirt, that of course, wasn’t buttoned, and oversized, ridiculously patterned shorts.</p><p>“You still have the nails on from last night?”</p><p>“Yeah, you like ‘em?” Gorey asked as he stared at his hot pink glue ons.</p><p>Dan nodded, pouring himself a Hello Kitty wine glass sized amount of Ribena.</p><p>“Sooo, are ya gonna tell me where ya went off to last night?” Gorey questioned, scratching his arm.</p><p>“Oh, you know, I just went off to…” Dan said casually, “Celebrate.”</p><p>Gorey rolled his eyes. “Gotta give me a bit more than that, mate. Did ya go off and do anything illegal? ‘Cause if ya did and left my arse at the club—“</p><p>“For fuck’s sake. No, nothing illegal,” Dan glared. “What do you think I did?”</p><p>“Well, ya didn’t come home, I know that for sure,” Gorey thought, creasing his brows as he inhaled smoke. “You didn’t go over to Andrew’s, right?”</p><p>“God no. I wasn’t that drunk. Were you?”</p><p>“All you need to know is that I wasn’t drunk enough to forget to bring our stuff home and feed Brizzy. But, you were drunk enough last year. Almost. Luckily your best friend Gorey saved ya.”</p><p>“Yes, thank you,” Dan chuckled lightly.</p><p>“You’re acting like your birthday wasn’t that big of a deal, but it was,” Gorey said, “It was your twenty-fucking-eighth birthday! And I know you were having fun at the club. So tell me!”</p><p>When Dan didn’t speak, Gorey groaned dramatically.</p><p>Dan quietly spoke, “Okay, fine. I went to go have sex.”</p><p>He played with the glass in his hand, looking down at it. </p><p>“Oh, fucking hell, I’m a idiot, of course ya fuckin’ did!” Gorey yelped, watching Dan give him a look.</p><p>“It’d be nice if you could not shout out my sex life to all of our neighbors,” he said softly and glared to him.</p><p>“You know what I mean, you always have birthday sex. I shoulda guessed.”</p><p>Color filling his cheeks, Dan pursed his lips, “Yeah.”</p><p>“So who? It wasn’t Andrew, ya said. Was it Grindr?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Well fuckin’ hell, then. You didn’t go off to the streets, right?”</p><p>“Of course not. Didn’t feel like being called enough slurs to put my high school bullies to shame.”</p><p>Gorey coughed up a laugh, “Poor Danny.”</p><p>Dan finally sipped his drink with a small smile on his face. He was able to enjoy a few seconds of silence before Gorey went off chatting again.</p><p>“Bitch, you’re so cryptic. You’re lucky you even got a bloody birthday. We were basically unemployed at mine, ‘member? Hopping from club to club? And my birthday, my actual birthday, only happens once every four years. FOUR YEARS,” Gorey reminded him, “This year I had to go to Grindr, Dan, Grindr. You know how desperate someone’s gotta be to go to Grindr?! And I’m a bloody fem top! You’ve got it easy.”</p><p>Gorey thought for a moment, tapping his cigarette above the ashtray. He took a drink of Ribena, stopping in the middle of his sip as his eyes widened.</p><p>“The fuck? You alright, mate?”</p><p>Coughing up his drink, Gorey set it down, clearing his throat. “I know what ya did, ya horndog! You went off and broke TJ’s rule, didn’t ya?”</p><p>“PJ,” Dan lightly corrected, his cheeks becoming even darker red. “And I never said—“</p><p>“You did! Oh my god, I knew ya wouldn’t be able to make it very long. So go on, who’d ya get with? That blonde guy with the beard who we saw during Crystal’s performance?”</p><p>“No, not him. But I’m still not telling you.”</p><p>Dan absentmindedly picked up his phone. </p><p>“Okay then, what about the guy who took his shirt off during the Lady Gaga song? Or was it a Mariah Carey song? I think he had pink hair?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Dammit. It wasn’t a drink twink, was it? I know they’re not your type.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Gorey gasped and whispered, “Did you kai kai with someone?”</p><p>“No, I didn’t fucking kai kai with someone!” Dan huffed, “I told you—I’m not saying who it was.”</p><p>“Can you at least tell me about it?” Gorey asked, putting the nasty cigarette back in his mouth. “Hellooo?”</p><p>Dan was scrolling through his Instagram notifications. “About what?”</p><p>“Oh my goddddd,” Gorey dramatically groaned, “You’ve just turned twenty eight and you’re already becoming boring! I mean the shaggin’, mate! The buggery! The gettin’ jiggy! The diddly doo! The bumpin’ uglies! The naugh—“</p><p>“Did I hear you right? The getting jiggy?” Dan finally looked up from his phone to gawk at his friend, who burst into cackling laughter.</p><p>“That’s what me mums call it,” Gorey snickered, “Go play with your sister, Greg’ry, Mum and I are gettin’ jiggy.”</p><p>“Gross,” Dan chuckled a bit. “But fine, I’ll tell you—it was good. It was really, really good.”</p><p>“Good? Is that bloody it?! I need more deets, Danny,” he begged, “Go on. Where’s he from? How many rounds? Big cock on ‘im?”</p><p>“I need a real fucking drink,” Dan got up and went back to the kitchen, filling up his Hello Kitty wine glass with some actual wine. “What all did you ask?”</p><p>Gorey counted on his fingers, “Only three questions. Where he’s from, how many rounds ya did, and how big was his donger?”</p><p>Dan sighed and sat back down on his chair, “He said he’s from up north, I believe. Three rounds, I guess. Three, like, finishes, and one actual, like, intercourse. Then—I can’t believe I’m telling you this—but...yes, he was big.”</p><p>“Ahh, thank you. That’s better information,” Gorey laughed charmingly. “Ay! And this mornin’? Anything else?”</p><p>“No, um...he, uh, left before I did, I slept in,” Dan scratched the back of his neck. “Said bye at least.”</p><p>“Right. Did ya get his name?”</p><p>“Uh, no, I don’t think he ever told me.”</p><p>“That’s good,” Gorey said, “For you, at least. Less likely to get attached.”</p><p>“I don’t get attached,” Dan lightly snapped back.</p><p>“Not as often as ya used to,” he muttered, then said, “Ya don’t have to be in drag or tipsy to be a lil’ risqué, ya know. Don’t have to use proper fuckin’ terms. You can be open with me. I’m your bloody roommate.”</p><p>“I know,” Dan threw back the rest of his drink, “I know.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. IX. Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The silence of Phil’s apartment had never been as noticeable as it was when he opened the door coming back from the hotel.</p><p>Over time, he’d gotten used to it—but in comparison to the loud music and ambience from the club, it took a little longer to adjust to.</p><p>Phil changed clothes, then went to the kitchen to make himself coffee and pour a bowl of cereal. He watched the news, switching through the channels until settling on some crappy reality TV.</p><p>Only an hour, he thought to himself, then I’ve got to get some work done.</p><p>After sitting through an entire episode, he was done with his cereal and noticed a text from PJ.</p><p>PJ: Hey Phil! Didn’t see you leave last night, did you have fun?</p><p>From three hours ago. Oops.</p><p>Phil: Sure did! Thanks for inviting me :)</p><p>PJ replied quickly after.</p><p>PJ: Of course, you’re welcome anytime mate</p><p>Phil replied with a thumbs up emoji, wondering what PJ would be spending the day doing. Was he enjoying time off, playing on his PC? Or working on some sort of project?</p><p>He didn’t have to think much, because then another chain of texts pinged from him.</p><p>PJ: Working on the website today, what do you think?<br/>
PJ: catandbearldn.com</p><p>The link opened up to an appealing, organized homepage, with every bit of information about the club spread out in detailed paragraphs or handy links. And that began Phil’s long lasting rabbit hole through pages and pages of the internet.</p><p>He started with PJ’s website, of course, reading every page he’d made so far and looking at the images. There was a description page with a little blurb about each queen, where Phil read Dan’s sarcastic, slightly self deprecating quote. At the end, there was his Instagram account, which Phil tapped on immediately.</p><p>“Daniel Howell</p><p>my drag is a joke<br/>
see me @catandbearldn<br/>
booking: kickthepj@lgbt-events.uk”</p><p>Chuckling at his bio, Phil looked closely at his profile picture, then to his most recent post, from a few hours ago.</p><p>“spent my birthday this year getting drunk and then going out how i started in this world</p><p>naked and screaming 🍰</p><p>time to go ponder the inevitability of my loved ones dying, see you in 4 days guys 😃🖤💋</p><p>xxx”</p><p>If Phil would’ve been sipping a drink, he easily would’ve choked on it. That cheeky little shit.</p><p>The first photo was a picture that someone must have taken of him last night, with his best hair and makeup in a perfect pose. Swiping his thumb across his phone, he looked at the other photos Dan had posted with his friends, and the gifts and cake. At the end, there was a selfie he must’ve taken in the hotel bathroom that didn’t show his face.</p><p>Curious about more of his posts, Phil began scrolling down. </p><p>“i miss inspiring queer people through the art of drag but also getting paid for it. come see the opening night show this saturday at @catandbearldn 🥂🎉”</p><p>The photo with that caption was him dressed up as a Playboy bunny, the headband’s ears sticking out from the big tuft of hair on top of his head. Dan was also holding a microphone, which had Phil wondering why. Maybe he talked at every show, not just his birthday.</p><p>As Phil kept viewing his posts, he saw that the majority of his captions were sassy. It also allowed him to see how fucking talented he actually was—even more than he’d already thought.</p><p>And true to Dan’s word, there were barely any photos where he wasn’t in drag on his page. The majority of them, of course, featured him dressed to the nines, looking happy or seductive or friendly. Some were travel photos of the sky or a bridge or plants. But only a handful actually showed the guy underneath it all.</p><p>Briefly skimming over some of the other queens’ accounts, Phil continued browsing until he finally noticed his texts from PJ that had spanned over the last hour.</p><p>PJ: So what do you think?<br/>
PJ: Does it look good?<br/>
PJ: Phil<br/>
PJ: Phil, did you take a look?</p><p>Phil: Sorry got distracted. The website looks great and I enjoyed looking at it! Instagram page looks good too</p><p>PJ: I thought you’d died or something mate<br/>
PJ: But thanks for looking<br/>
PJ: Drop by again sometime?</p><p>Phil: Maybe Friday or Saturday</p><p>PJ: Sounds good!</p><p>Phil: 👍🏻</p><p>He continued stalking Dan’s account for a while, viewing a post from two years ago, noticing a big jump between the consistent photos, as if he’d taken some down.</p><p>Wait, what time was it?</p><p>“Shit,” Phil huffed, putting his phone down. He was supposed to start working hours ago—there were emails to be sent, reports to be finished, meetings to be scheduled...</p><p>In an hour, he managed to get a good amount of work done. Not nearly enough to his liking, but he refined the networking plans for the week, set up some meetings, figured out who he needed to talk to the next day, all of the ‘boring businessman’ type things that Dan had asked about, although Phil insisted they were boring, because they were.</p><p>He made himself a meal up until his mum called for their typical Sunday chat.</p><p>“Hey Mum,” Phil replied, filling empty time by doing a puzzle.</p><p>“Hello child,” she greeted on the other end. “How are you?”</p><p>“I’m alright. How about you, Mum?”</p><p>“Oh, well, your father and I went to the park today and it was lovely. You would’ve liked it, there were lots of pigeons and…”</p><p>Phil listened as his mum rambled on about the past week’s events up north. How she baked cookies for their new neighbors, hosted a “Kath’s Girls Night” with her friends and Phil’s aunt to play bingo, a recent art project his dad had started, and so on.</p><p>“What have you been up to, dear?” she finally asked.</p><p>“Oh...you know, working.”</p><p>“Philip, dear, you’ve got to go find some other things to do besides work! I’m afraid one of these days you will work yourself to death.”</p><p>“I know, Mum,” Phil replied casually. She said that every time they called. Hesitant at first, he decided he would bring up last night to her. “Oh! Actually, remember the new club PJ started working at?”</p><p>“I believe so,” Kath said.</p><p>“I went for a visit last night.”</p><p>“Oh, lovely. Did you have fun? Meet anyone, perhaps?”</p><p>Phil smiled to himself, rolling his eyes at his mum who was always trying to force him into a social life.</p><p>“Yeah, I had fun. Remember I told you it’s a place that has performers? So they had a show, which was cool, and then I stayed a little after.”</p><p>“That’s great,” Kath said. “Did you catch up with PJ?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Phil said, just about to shift the conversation when…</p><p>“Did you meet anyone?”</p><p>Phil held back a sigh, having absolutely no intention to bring up Dan. “I mean, I said hi to some people. But nothing else, really.”</p><p>“Oh, okay...because I was hoping…”</p><p>“I know, Mum, you’re always trying to play matchmaker for me.”</p><p>“You know it’s just because I love you and want the best for you,” Kath playfully scolded, “I don’t want you to be lonely, love. Especially since you’re wanting to move into a new house. Big houses like that aren’t meant for a single bachelor.”</p><p>Wow, thanks for the reminder, Mum, Phil almost replied, but kept his mouth shut. </p><p>“I’ll get dogs, though,” Phil defended, “I’ll get myself a whole army of corgis if need be.”</p><p>Kath chuckled. “Okay. As long as you’re happy. I won’t bug you about it anymore. For now.”</p><p>“Alright, Mum,” Phil chuckled, “I’ll talk to you later.”</p><p>“Have a good week, darling. Love you.”</p><p>“Love you too, bye.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. X. Raindrops on Roses</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry it's been a while i'm glad i finally finished this shit</p><p>from the panic! at the disco song, build god then we'll talk, of course</p><p>-floof</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a normal Wednesday night for Dan until he’d made his way back to the dressing room after the show. On his station, there was a bouquet of white roses with a shiny envelope beside them. He hurriedly went to grab the letter before anyone else could snoop and read it, but the other queens in the dressing room were silently watching in curiosity.</p><p>He broke the seal of the envelope, using his sharp fake nail like a letter opener and unfolding the note as he sat down in the chair.</p><p>-</p><p>Dan,</p><p>I hope you had the loveliest of birthdays, with candles that shined as bright as your smile and cake as sweet as you are.</p><p>I barely know you, but I just wanted to let you know again how thankful I am of the time we got to spend together. It was the most fun I’ve had in an unbelievably long time, and on your birthday, not mine.</p><p>We connected right away, and as ridiculous as this sounds, it felt magical. Amazingly, you managed to make an unfamiliar situation for me a lovely memory. You are so fun and welcoming to be around, and I hope to spend more time with you in the upcoming future.</p><p>I will think of that night forever and how you sounded. The way you reacted when I kissed and sucked on your neck is stuck in a loop in my head. It was lovely to have your thighs around me, and heavenly to be in between them, you felt overwhelmingly incredible around me. With makeup or without you are so pretty, you are a beautiful person to look up to when you’re on my lap, and a gorgeous body to wake up to. </p><p>In every single moment, every single angle—even the bits of awkwardness between us, you looked so pretty.</p><p>Remembering that night makes me crave the feeling of you all over, giving me chills and goosebumps. It makes me wish I could feel your tongue and hands on me.</p><p>You know how to be as seductive as possible, don’t you? I’ll have great memories to think about the next time I need to let go, like we helped each other do. Do you notice how beautiful you are in the mirror every morning? I hope so.</p><p>Your confidence, charisma and sarcasm are admirable and addicting. I can’t wait to see you again. Until I can visit next, go get yourself one last birthday present, or replace that dress I accidentally ripped. You looked gorgeous in it, and I know whatever else you buy, you’ll look just as stunning in.</p><p>Treat yourself. It’s not much to show my gratitude, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Hope to see you soon.</p><p>— Phil</p><p>-</p><p>And then he noticed the fucking Visa gift card for three hundred fucking pounds.</p><p>Dan blushed furiously through the entire read, so much it was almost visible from under his makeup. He made multiple poor attempts to hide his smile from any suspecting queens that were entering the dressing room.</p><p>“Oooh, who’s got the fancy bouquet?” one of them asked instantly, turning the head of every single person in the room. Except for Dan.</p><p>“It’s at Daniel’s station, shtupid,” one of them announced.</p><p>As the majority of them went to crowd around Dan’s chair, he slipped the note into his backpack under the counter.</p><p>“What is it? What is it?”</p><p>“Flowers, you blind bat. Roses, to be exact.”</p><p>Dan didn’t look at them, pretending he was doing something else.</p><p>“Crumpled up pound note for your thoughts?”</p><p>One of the queens slid said pound note into Dan’s view.</p><p>“Just uh, a late birthday gift from one of my American friends,” Dan quickly explained, finally lifting his head to touch one of the flowers, “Aren’t they pretty?”</p><p>“They’re gorgeous, darling.”</p><p>“Crystal. That was so clearly sarcastic.”</p><p>“Hush up. I’m just having a hard time believing that a friend would pick out roses,” Crystal said, looking down at her nails. “But that’s all.”</p><p>Crystal slowly walked away, and so did the other nosy queens along with her.</p><p>Dan rolled his eyes and graciously took the pound note left on the counter.</p><p>“Well, are we gonna have a cute little photoshoot with you and your roses or no?” one of the queens asked Dan, smiling at him in the mirror. When it took a second for him to realize, the queen hummed, “Hm?”</p><p>“That’d be nice,” Dan finally answered, pushing his chair back to stand up. He lifted the bouquet. “Outside?”</p><p>“I’m afraid it’s raining at the moment, doll.”</p><p>“Oh. In the hallway, maybe?”</p><p>“Sure,” she replied.</p><p>Dan pulled pretty faces and poses for the phone camera, but anytime he wasn’t trying to look pretty, he seemed distant.</p><p>-</p><p>“You were sayin’ one of ya American friends got ya those?” Gorey asked as they walked inside their apartment building, hauling bags of clothes, makeup, and wigs.</p><p>Hitting the elevator button, Dan nodded, glancing back at his roses that he was holding to his chest protectively. </p><p>“You okay, mate?”</p><p>“Oh, uh, yeah. Just tired.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>After the shaky rattling of Gorey’s keys, he announced he was having a bedtime snack—which usually meant he was having his last cigarette of the night—then cut through the kitchen to go out to the balcony.</p><p>Dan dumped his drag into the cluttered room, then went to his own bedroom with his backpack and the roses. It was very important he picked the perfect vase for them—so much so that it took him about ten minutes to finally decide on one.</p><p>He delicately placed each rose into the clean water.</p><p>-</p><p>“Oh my god! What are these? Orchids?” Dan gushed, being pulled tightly into someone’s arms.</p><p>“Yeah, for you,” the man said, “I mean, you got booked for the most well known gay bar in the country, is all!”</p><p>“Andyyy,” Dan whined, “You’re gonna make me cry. You’re so sweet.”</p><p>He stared into the eyes of ‘Andy’, smiling as the man pushed his straightened fringe out of his eyes.</p><p>“Don’t cry, we still have to eat.”</p><p>“We sure do, and at my favorite Indian restaurant, at that.”</p><p>They sat in a booth at the very back of the restaurant, up against a window. Dan clinked wine glasses with Andy, giggling infectiously and taking a big sip.</p><p>He leaned over the table to give Andy a kiss.</p><p>“Have you told anyone else?”</p><p>“Not yet,” Dan replied, “I kind of wish I could tell my mum.”</p><p>“I wish, too,” Andy said with a small sigh, reaching for his hands. “But she would be proud of you if she knew, I promise.”</p><p>Dan’s eyes were looking out the window. “Yeah, I guess.”</p><p>Andy rubbed Dan’s knuckles for a few moments, then murmured, “Speaking of, when are you going to let me introduce myself?”</p><p>Dan’s entire face went red, prominently blooming across his cheeks. “T-To my mum and dad?”</p><p>“Yes, love,” Andy chuckled as he turned his head back to face him. </p><p>“I don’t know...I didn’t think you wanted to.”</p><p>“Well, I do now.”</p><p>“I’ll think about it,” Dan responded, squeezing his hand in reassurance.</p><p>“I thought you wanted us to be more serious,” Andy said, “Do you not?”</p><p>“Why would you say that?” Dan scoffed, gazing at him, “Of course I do.”</p><p>“Then let me meet them,” he said, no longer smiling as much. “You’d just be delaying us...doing, uh, whatever you call it. ‘Making progress’.”</p><p>“I never said I didn’t want you to, Andy, I…” he spoke, “I just wanted to think about it because it would be a big deal for me. And my parents. It’d be the first time I—“</p><p>“You doing that isn’t showing me that you care.”</p><p>“Andy, stop saying that. You know I do.”</p><p>He watched him lower his head.</p><p>“I’d love for you to meet them,” Dan said softly, “But as I was saying, it would be the first time I’d be introducing my parents to a guy I was interested in. Not a girl. I just feel like, I dunno, I need to prepare for the awkwardness and the potentially hard conversation to even get to the point where we can go visit. Please don’t think that’s me not wanting to be open and honest about being with you, or that I’m ashamed of you, or anything of the sort. Okay?”</p><p>When Andy didn’t look up, Dan took it upon himself to reach out and stroke his jaw.</p><p>“And they’ll like you, don’t worry.”</p><p>“Okay,” he finally answered.</p><p>Dan reached over to kiss his nose. “Please don’t be sad anymore, this is supposed to be our fun, celebratory meal—“</p><p>“I just—“ Andy huffed, pushing Dan away and clenching his fists, only inches close to bang his fists on the table when the waitress brought their food by.</p><p>“Thank you,” Dan told her awkwardly, beginning to eat in silence. He glanced over at the orchids, then over to Andy, who didn’t dare to look back, or even say a word for the rest of the evening.</p><p>-</p><p>“I much prefer roses,” Dan murmured to himself as he dipped the final rose into the water.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. XI. Hello Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>loosely based on the cars' song hello again, idk if the lyrics correlate at all but it's a funky song</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following Saturday, Phil went to The Cat and Bear again.</p><p>He sat on a barstool, saying hello to Mars and ordering a drink like the last time. Luckily, he didn’t have to wait as long for the performance—he didn’t show up nearly as early. </p><p>It was, again, PJ, who found Phil first and talked to him right away. He had loads of ideas for the queens, some of them required going to the states, so Phil kindly reminded his enthusiastic friend to not get too ahead of himself. After all, it was only the second week they’d been open to the public.</p><p>But it was still June, so there were many pride related events to be planned. PJ shared how he was trying to get a float for them to be in London’s pride parade. They were apparently expecting a big turnout at the club for that night, too, so PJ had lots to prepare for.</p><p>Phil and PJ bounced ideas back and forth until PJ randomly mentioned, “I’ve overheard some of the queens talking about you.”</p><p>Phil didn’t get a second to recover before his cheeks were tinting red.</p><p>“Don’t worry, they gossip about everyone,” PJ laughed, “I just heard your name a few times. They’ve been throwing around ‘Philly’.”</p><p>“Philly?” he repeated as if he’d never heard it before.</p><p>“It’s not any worse than mine! Instead of Peej, they’ve been calling me Peach!”</p><p>“That’s kind of cute, though. At least that means they like you.”</p><p>“I suppose,” PJ said, “Alright, mate, I’d better go make sure they’re stage ready. Nice seeing you.”</p><p>“Nice seeing you as well,” Phil waved as PJ walked off. </p><p>He anticipated the show, swirling the straw of his drink in small circles. The first moments were a blur in Phil’s memory—but by the time Dan graced the stage, he could remember crystal clear.</p><p>During his routines, Dan stretched his body in ways that made Phil think of their night together, unintentionally sending a shiver down his spine as he noticed the similarities.</p><p>He jut out his hip to pick up some money, arched his back, made a recognizable expression, and even let the crowd’s attention move to his thighs as he swayed back and forth. It was too reminiscent of last Saturday, so much so that Phil almost felt like he needed to leave because he was blushing so much.</p><p>When Dan laid eyes on Phil, he could barely cover his smile to finish lip syncing correctly. Hopefully it wasn’t obvious to anyone else watching, but Phil could definitely tell he had an effect on him. He tipped Dan heavily yet again—caught off guard by the intense look in his eyes—but this time, there was no kissing of his hand. Which was fine. If this night resulted the same way last Saturday did, he wouldn’t even have to worry about missing out on something so little. </p><p>Dan folded the bill and slipped it into one of his gloves, then went on to collect the waving tips from the rest of the crowd.</p><p>-</p><p>Phil was much more alert when Dan approached him, hearing every tap of his heels on the floor.</p><p>“Hey,” Dan said, patting his shoulder. He elegantly sat on the barstool beside him, crossing his legs and smiling.</p><p>“Hey,” Phil answered, trying to mimic his flirty tone. “How are you?”</p><p>“I’m great,” he said, then ordered himself a drink. “You?”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>Phil took the time to take in his appearance—hair that framed his face and chest, a vinyl bodysuit with sheer cutouts that accentuated his body well and sparkled in the spotlights, vinyl heeled boots, and of course, his long gloves. He looked gorgeous in his all black outfit, his makeup mostly soft except for the dramatized effects on his eyes and unrealistically perfect lips.</p><p>“Work was okay this week?”</p><p>Zoning back in, he awkwardly nodded, watching Dan sip his drink and twist a curl of hair around his finger. For a few moments, there was silence, until Phil brought up something that very obviously shook Dan up.</p><p>“Did you get my...uh, gift?”</p><p>Dan bit his lip. His movements were hesitant as he continued to sip his drink, and after chuckling, he finally answered.</p><p>“I did get your gift,” he said with a flustered smile. “And I enjoyed it very much. The roses are on my bedside table, and I’ve already bought something with the gift card.”</p><p>“That’s good.”</p><p>“Yeah. It’s a gorgeous dress, it’s coming in tomorrow, I think…”</p><p>“And the note?”</p><p>Again, Dan pursed his lips, widening his eyes and smiling shyly to himself. “Um. Yeah...it was, really nice. I put it in my drawer. I’ve read over it a few times…”</p><p>“Really? I wrote it a few times,” Phil flirted.</p><p>“Oh, did you?” he chuckled, finishing his first drink of the night.</p><p>They talked back and forth for a while, some of their conversations awkward, some much more comfortable. It was nice for Phil to enjoy playful bits of banter with a flirtatious underlining—he’d been without it for a week, after all. </p><p>Phil had no idea how Dan was so energetic after his show. If Phil would’ve had to entertain people and dance with everything Dan had to put on for hours, he probably would’ve passed out in the dressing room.</p><p>Dan also tended to make him blush, but of course it didn’t mean much when Phil made him blush back due to Dan’s makeup. He was fucking stunning with all of his makeup on, but purely for the sake of seeing him blush, he hoped he would change out of it soon, if things were going to go how last Saturday did. </p><p>A few queens did their own individual performances, but in between they still managed to keep their conversations going. It was much less packed inside but with still a decent amount of people to have an upbeat, party vibe, at least, in Phil’s opinion. He didn’t go to parties much.</p><p>“These gloves are hot,” Dan bit the tip of one of his fingers, swiftly tugging off one glove with his teeth. When the other came off with some difficulty, he perked up. “Oh, right, the tip you gave me is in here.”</p><p>Phil was back to the all too familiar feeling of his face becoming completely red. The way Dan’s teeth were gentle but powerful enough to pull off a long, nearly elbow length glove, and the light lipstick stain he’d left on them—was really attractive. Ridiculously so.</p><p>An adorable, infectious cackle came right after it.</p><p>“That probably looked so bloody stupid,” he laughed, finding somewhere to put the fifty pound bill.</p><p>“No,” Phil blurted, not knowing why the fuck he’d even said anything. When he thought his face couldn’t get any redder, it did.</p><p>Dan smirked.</p><p>“It didn’t? Then what did it look like to you?”</p><p>“Um…” Phil was at a loss of what to say. His brain was telling him to say an adjective, but with the view of Dan checking him out with no reluctance, he was starting to forget what an adjective even was.</p><p>He still had a goddamn smirk on his face, and Phil imagined that was probably the same one he’d sported when typing out the cheeky caption to his birthday post on Instagram. Naked and screaming…</p><p>Someone who Phil presumed to be one of Dan’s friends approached them before he could manage to speak. They made a loud, growl-bite sound, grabbing Dan’s shoulders and scaring him.</p><p>“JESUS FUCKIN—!” Dan whipped his head around, “Gorey, you fuckin’ twat.”</p><p>Gorey laughed deeply, and luckily Dan soon followed.</p><p>“Thought I’d come check up on ya.”</p><p>“How kind of you,” Dan said sarcastically as Gorey dropped his hands. “Your show went really well! I knew it would, you’ve stayed up so late practicing.”</p><p>“Thank youuu,” he purred, then laughed again.</p><p>Phil was perfectly fine going unnoticed until Gorey’s eyes turned to him, then back to Dan.</p><p>“Oh, right, this is CJ’s friend, innit?”</p><p>“PJ,” Dan corrected. “But yes. Phil, meet Gorey. Gorey, meet Phil.”</p><p>“How lovely it is to meet you,” Gorey said dramatically.</p><p>Phil held his hand out with an awkward smile, to which Gorey shook with similar awkwardness, looking at him with colored contacts. </p><p>His outfit was really cool. Much brighter colors in comparison to Dan—a bright orange vinyl dress with fuzzy yellow covers over his arms and matching yellow tights. </p><p>“Uh, I—uh, like your drag name. Sonata Mann, right?”</p><p>“Yes,” he said proudly, “It’s genius, I know.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Phil answered, his eyes going back to Dan. </p><p>“Mars,” Gorey called, leaning in between them. “Make me a lemon drop vodker, would ya?”</p><p>“Sure,” they said with a smile, finding a glass and collecting everything that went in the mix. Mars handed it to Gorey.</p><p>“Cheers,” Gorey lifted the drink up, finally backing up from the space where Dan and Phil were talking. When he coughed at the sourness of his drink, Dan looked at Phil, rolling his eyes playfully.</p><p>“So, um, have you heard anything about what PJ’s been planning?” Phil asked. That was the only conversation topic that came to his mind, and he hoped it was interesting enough to break the awkwardness of Dan’s friend butting in out of nowhere.</p><p>“Not much. Just that he wants us to go to Pride or something?” Dan said, “Which is fun, don’t get me wrong, but it’s still going to feel like work.”</p><p>Phil nodded, politely ordering a water from Mars, to even out his drink he’d barely finished. </p><p>“What a responsible drinker you are,” Dan teased, making Phil blush and giggle. “But what else about Pride? I wanna know what he’s up to, that scheming weasel.”</p><p>“He...I don’t know how much he doesn’t mind me telling you—“</p><p>“I’m no snitch,” Dan said, then gave him a sultry look and spoke softer, “You of all people should know that.”</p><p>He couldn’t help but blush at that.</p><p>“I wanna know, too! I’ll try not to gossip too much,” Gorey chipped in, suddenly paying attention. </p><p>“Please,” Dan added. </p><p>Phil could feel Gorey’s eyes bouncing back and forth to himself and Dan, which was fine except for his mischievous smile he was failing to hide behind his drink.</p><p>“He’s gotten a float for you all, for the parade—and a booth for the day. I don’t know why, I guess to give out goodies and promote the bar and stuff.”</p><p>Dan nodded intently, even though Phil’s speech was in no way appealing—he was fumbling his words, but maybe he wouldn’t if Dan hadn’t been looking at him so closely.</p><p>It wasn’t from his only drink of the night, that he’d literally just watered down—it was Dan. </p><p>“That’s about it...besides that they’re trying to get everyone from Pride to come here for an after party, hence the promotional aspect...now for the after party, I have no clue what PJ is wanting to put together.”</p><p>“An after party sounds fun but pretty bloody exhaustin’ if ya ask me,” Gorey said, taking a big sip from his drink. “Hours of gettin’ ourselves ready, then the booth and float ready, being at Pride nearly the entire fockin’ time, then coming back and clubbin’ all fockin’ night. Prob’ly more than twelve hours, I’d assume.”</p><p>“Fun but exhausting,” Dan agreed, “My feet already hurt just from talking about it. I’ll have to find some cute shit to put together.”</p><p>“I can make ya somethin’!” Gorey offered, “Like last year. I’ll remind ya how to sew because you’re always forgetting.”</p><p>“You only wear black—would you wear colors for Pride?” Phil asked Dan curiously.</p><p>“As long as it’s mostly black...yeah, I’ll wear colors,” he smiled, opening his phone up. “This is what G helped me make last year, it’s kind of like...Vegas showgirl-ish.”</p><p>Phil looked to see the photo Dan had found from his phone’s camera roll. His outfit was definitely how he’d described—it looked like he was just caught walking on the Vegas strip. Sparkles and rhinestones, snug fitting clothes, feathers. </p><p>“I think it would be cool to be, like, a rainbow glittery skeleton,” Dan said, which caught Phil’s interest, “I wouldn’t want to wear long sleeves because of how hot it’ll be, but it still might look cool as just a bathing suit type thing.”</p><p>“Yeah, because fuck wearing sleeves an’ trousers with pounds of makeup on, and five pairs of pantyhose, and yer own dick up ya arse,” Gorey grumbled, “Danny, ‘member...was it 2017 where tha’ old boss made us wear matchin’ outfits!? Nearly caught fockin’ heat stroke, then.”</p><p>“Fuckin’ hell, that was like, the worst Pride ever,” Dan huffed, “And I went to one when I was closeted. But yeah, I’ll probably save my cute outfits for the parade. If we’re just gonna be walking around, I’m wearing fucking shorts and an oversized t-shirt I’ll probably buy the day of, and you can’t give me shit for it.”</p><p>“Werk, Miss Pedestrian,” Gorey cackled and snapped his fingers.</p><p>“Yes, pedestrian, who’s seven fucking feet tall, has a perfectly unrealistic hourglass body, and with hair that reaches my ass. I’m sure I’ll be clocked as ‘pedestrian’,” he said sarcastically, “Pedestrian on another fucking planet.”</p><p>“That’s what I wanna look like. Just a fucking monster, mate. Might even paint meself green or pink,” Gorey said.</p><p>“Werk!” Dan snapped his fingers back.</p><p>“Mars, love! Are you gonna be werkin’ your non-binary flag suspenders again?” Gorey shouted, holding out his glass to them for a refill.</p><p>Mars chuckled, mixing up his lemon drop vodka again. “Yeah.”</p><p>“You better werk, bitch!” </p><p>Phil smiled at everyone’s excitement, soon looking into Dan’s eyes for help.</p><p>What does that mean? he mouthed.</p><p>“Oh, werk? Like, just something you say when you’re excited or, if you’re ‘working’ something, you’re like showing it off,” Dan explained, “Or an accomplishment kind of thing.”</p><p>“Right,” Phil said. “I have another thing that I need explained but I feel like it’s dumb and will make me seem old.”</p><p>“Welllll, you could use Urban Dictionary, but you do have a drag queen sitting right beside you,” he laughed, “Tell me.”</p><p>Phil suddenly blushed, “Okay, so what does it mean when someone says, like, ‘spill’, or ‘spill the tea’, or like what is tea besides a drink you make on the kettle?”</p><p>“Phiiiiil,” Dan whined adorably, “Seriously? You don’t know what that means?”</p><p>“I told you it was dumb!”</p><p>“No, it’s not. I promise. It is a little funny, though. Like, where have you been? Are you sure you’re really gay?”</p><p>“Yeah!” Phil squeaked defensively.</p><p>“Okay, so ‘spilling the tea’ is like, sharing gossip. Lowkey talking shit. Being nosy. All those fun things,” Dan said, “Does that ever happen at your work? Like, drama at the watercooler?”</p><p>“Not that I hear about,” Phil sipped his water, only then noticing Gorey had drifted away somewhere. “I think that everyone sees me as too uptight and serious to talk about stuff like that in front of me.”</p><p>“Lucky me, I get to see how fun you really are,” Dan giggled.</p><p>Phil shrugged and chuckled.</p><p>“I, um…” Dan began to speak, pausing for a moment in between his words, “I just wanted to—like, I was waiting for Gorey to leave—I wanted to give a much more sincere thank you for the flowers than before, I really appreciate it.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Phil hummed softly, watching Dan bring out his phone and pull up another picture, this time of the roses in a vase on his nightstand. A pink tint spread over Phil’s cheeks as the realization of the photo.</p><p>“Yeah, uh...it’s been, I don’t know...a while...since I’ve received flowers, instead of buying them for myself.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Dan nodded, fidgeting with his phone, then a strand of hair.</p><p>“Was it okay, though? That they were, y’know. Roses.”</p><p>“Yeah, of course,” Dan reassured him, “I like roses. I like all flowers, really—as long as they’re not orchids.”</p><p>“Orchids?” he lightly chuckled, “What do you have specifically against orchids?”</p><p>“I dunno, just don’t fancy them,” Dan replied.</p><p>“Okay,” Phil sarcastically typed into his phone, “No orchids.”</p><p>Dan laughed, crinkling his nose and shaking his head. </p><p>The club was awkwardly silent for a few seconds, and Phil found himself gawking at Dan. Every time they chatted and giggled, it made Phil want to end every sentence by giving him a soft, gentle kiss.</p><p>Like last time, Dan didn’t get up from the barstool, choosing to be by Phil’s side almost all night. Phil was thankful, because otherwise he probably would’ve been so uncomfortable, but Dan was so welcoming and charming and looked out for him.</p><p>Gorey came back around, chatting with them and progressively getting drunker. Simply by watching his body language, Phil could tell that Dan was becoming tense and uncomfortable by the presence of his intoxicated friend.</p><p>“Oh, here we fuckin’ go,” Gorey scoffed, sipping his drink.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Dan asked, “All I’m saying is—“</p><p>“All I’m saying is,” Gorey mocked him, “You’re off on another intellectual tangent, mate. Chewin’ your hookup’s ears off.”</p><p>“Shush,” Dan pouted, “I’m sure Phil doesn’t mind…”</p><p>“I don’t, it’s alright,” he reassured with a small chuckle, “I’m here to listen to your opinions about Charli XCX’s most recent album.”</p><p>“You are now. Try livin’ with the fucker!”</p><p>“Gorey, pipe down.”</p><p>While Gorey was blabbering about something again, Dan was attempting to get him to sit back down, ignoring whatever he was saying.</p><p>Phil didn’t really know what to do besides sit there and be awkward. He got up to use the restroom, but when he got back, he could tell some shit must’ve gone down. Gorey wasn’t there, but Dan was, huffing and waiting impatiently for Phil to get back.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Phil asked softly, “Is it okay if I touch your arm?”</p><p>Dan nodded as Phil reached to rub his bicep soothingly.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“Nothing, just...ugh, sometimes it’s like dealing with a fucking teenager when he’s an adult,” he complained, “He was just trying to be funny by teasing but pissing me off...but it’s whatever.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” Phil asked, looking at his face.</p><p>Dan sighed deeply. “Yeah.”</p><p>He watched Dan hop down, admiring his body from the points of his heels up to the highest curl in his hair. Of course his waist was cinched in, and his chest was fake, but Phil knew from last time that his gorgeous thighs were real, they were simply being covered by a few pairs of tights. But they still accentuated his body well.</p><p>“What’s wrong with you now?” Dan murmured, standing very close.</p><p>“You’re pretty,” Phil hummed back, still checking him out, “And I’m thinking about touching your thighs.”</p><p>Dan lightly giggled, “Hush up. We’ll leave soon.”</p><p>“You don’t have to stay dressed up if you don’t want to,” Phil said, “If it’s more comfortable for you to take it all off, I don’t mind, but it’s up to you.”</p><p>Dan picked up his gloves from the counter. “Hmm. I dunno. Should I?”</p><p>“Change out of drag?”</p><p>“Yeah. Go back to looking like a guy?”</p><p>Phil nodded, “Either way, I still want to leave with you.”</p><p>He was looking sincerely into his eyes as Dan mindlessly played with a glove in his hand. Finally, Dan met his gaze.</p><p>“Okay. It might be easier than trying another outfit, having my hair in the way, and worrying about my makeup smudging.”</p><p>Phil nodded again. </p><p>“Can you take some pictures of me, though? For Instagram?”</p><p>“Of course,” Phil chuckled, “Wanna go outside?”</p><p>“Sure,” Dan watched him slide off of the stool, then gently held his arm to lead him down the hall through the backdoor. On their way, they bumped into Gorey, who must have been coming back from a smoke.</p><p>“Oh hey, Danny.”</p><p>“Hey, we’re just—“</p><p>“Mars wouldn’t gimme any more drinks,” he complained, slowly noticing Phil. “Off to shag already?”</p><p>Dan glared and yelped, “Shut up!”</p><p>He cackled, but Dan definitely wasn’t laughing back. “He’s taking pictures of my outfit, piss off.”</p><p>“Sure, sure, sure,” Gorey said as Dan pushed past him.</p><p>“Ignore him,” Dan huffed, “He’s drunk.”</p><p>Looking confused, Phil just followed after Dan to take photos of him outside.</p><p>“All I know how to do is take pictures, not tell you how to pose, so…”</p><p>Dan’s smile came back as he posed for photos, looking so beautiful. He could just make a simple resting pose and look so stunning.</p><p>“You’re pretty,” Phil repeated, making Dan laugh flirtatiously.</p><p>He took his phone from Phil’s hands, “I feel pretty. You make me feel pretty.”</p><p>Phil quickly led him back inside before he could see him blush.</p><p>“I’ll get changed. Do you mind calling the Uber so we don’t have to wait?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>-</p><p>Dan was quiet during the Uber ride, checking into the lobby, going up the elevator, walking down the hall, and finally getting to their room.</p><p>Phil didn’t know what else to say besides, “What’s wrong?”</p><p>He watched Dan go around the room to turn off every light—the one in the bathroom, the nightlight, the tall lamp, the desk lamp. Phil stopped Dan right before he reached the switch for the bedside light.</p><p>“What’s wrong? Why are you turning off the lights?”</p><p>“Um...I dunno, just to try something new, I guess?”</p><p>“Dan.”</p><p>Phil sat on the edge of the bed as Dan stood awkwardly in the center of the room. A few steps backward and he would have disappeared into the darkness. But the lamp managed to cover the bed with brightness, the white sheets a huge contrast to the dim corners and walls.</p><p>“Is this because you took off your makeup and stuff?”</p><p>“What do you mean, ‘is this’? Is what?”</p><p>“How you’re acting,” Phil said softly, not wanting to sound threatening or accusatory. “What you’re doing. Can we talk?”</p><p>“We’ve talked enough. Can’t we just...get on with it?”</p><p>“Daaan,” Phil called dramatically, gesturing for him to come over. He gently rubbed Dan’s forearms, looking up at him. “I want you to want this too. You look perfectly fine as a boy. I like you either way. I just want you, however you’re comfortable. So if you’re not, let’s not keep going.”</p><p>“I want to keep going,” Dan said, looking down, “I just forgot about being comfortable around you. I know I can be, that it doesn’t really matter, but…”</p><p>Phil raised his brow.</p><p>“I’m hesitant, I’m...a little...okay, I’ll admit it. I am a little scared.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>He sighed, “It’s hard to live up to how I am all dressed up. There’s nothing I can do to hide, like, my imperfections. And I know you wouldn’t...like, point them out in a bad way…”</p><p>“I would never,” Phil promised.</p><p>“I just hate that I’m letting my own thoughts get in the way of things I want to enjoy. Like sex. I’m so sorry, this is probably so annoying. I still want to, but I just need to take it slow at first, I think...yeah, that may work, I guess.”</p><p>“We can go whatever pace you want.”</p><p>“Please don’t be upset with me.”</p><p>“Baby,” he said, to which Dan reached for Phil’s forearms to hold, too—running his thumbs over his skin with soft strokes, “I’m not upset with you. I’m upset with your anxiety about this. I don’t want you to feel this way. I want you to be confident about every version of yourself.”</p><p>Dan nodded slowly.</p><p>“Come on, come sit, yeah?”</p><p>Phil began leaning back against the headboard and pillows, lap open for him to sit on. It took a moment, but Dan did eventually sit.</p><p>“This okay?” he asked, placing his hands on Dan’s sides, massaging his thighs with his fingers. When he nodded, Phil then added, “Okay. Good. Tell me if it’s not.”</p><p>Carefully, he placed his hand on Dan’s jaw.</p><p>“I’m not upset with you,” he murmured, bringing Dan’s face closer to his own. Right before kissing him, he added, “Not one bit.”</p><p>Dan nodded, hands sprawling across Phil’s chest. It took him a moment to kiss back with confidence, but whenever he did so, it made Phil’s heart soar with excitement.</p><p>With extreme delicacy, Phil stroked his jaw, hoping to calm down Dan’s quick heartbeat he could feel against his own skin.</p><p>“What do you want first?” Phil asked, kissing his neck when he leaned in. “We can do whatever you want...just make sure you say ‘break’ or ‘pause’ if it’s too much, yeah?”</p><p>“Just wanna keep doing this for a while,” Dan murmured, waiting for Phil to nod before colliding their lips again. This time, he’d pursued with a level of confidence, much more energetic than the first go.</p><p>He twisted the fabric of Phil’s shirt in his hands. Phil hoped it was from how passionate Dan wanted to be, rather than an involuntary fidget from anxiety. </p><p>When Dan’s lips submissively parted, Phil gently pushed his tongue forward, helping hold his body up to reach. He smacked his lips with Dan’s, feeling all over his widely spread thighs.</p><p>“Daddy,” he moaned softly.</p><p>“It’s okay?”</p><p>“Unh. Yeah.”</p><p>The pink shade on his lips was darkening the more he kissed Dan, becoming wet, raw red. But he didn’t care, his hands roamed the masterpiece of Dan’s body with no barriers.</p><p>He slid his palms up his thighs and across his bum, the sound of their clothes rustling together gently in his ears.</p><p>“You’re so gorgeous without even trying,” Phil affirmed, looking into his eyes. “Your smile, your laugh...such simple things about you are yet so beautiful.”</p><p>Dan didn’t answer to any of it but Phil hoped he was taking every word to heart. He kept thinking of ways he could prove to him how wonderful he actually was, but until then, kept feeling him up.</p><p>A few minutes later and Phil was asking again if everything was okay. Dan nodded and had started to roll his hips forward.</p><p>“You want to keep going just like this, and I can hold you?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>He reached his hands out to grab the wooden headboard, grinding his hips slightly harder.</p><p>Phil held Dan steady and teased him similarly, the way he planned to continue—bucking up and gently bouncing him on his lap.</p><p>Dan tilted his head back like it was the real thing, finally undressing himself to be in nothing but his Calvins, and Phil soon ditched his own clothes to do the same.</p><p>“Just focus on how good it feels,” Phil reminded him, kissing his nipple. “Your insecurities don’t matter right now, baby, just how good you feel, yeah?”</p><p>From all the movements, Dan’s leaking erection slipped free from the fabric.</p><p>“Shit,” Dan said, the word barely even a breath.</p><p>He looked back at Phil, nuzzling and kissing his neck and jaw. </p><p>Phil felt Dan letting loose more and more, all it took was gentle pets to his curls and he was putty in his arms, stiff in no other ways apart from his cock.</p><p>“You,” Dan breathed, “You touch me.”</p><p>“Okay, I will.”</p><p>And of course with one simple pump Dan was already a whining mess. The praise had clearly affected him for the better, which was all Phil wanted, however it might have been expressed—through self esteem, through a comforted smile, through arousal.</p><p>He kissed Dan’s face as he leaned over to grab his wallet that he was almost positive there was a condom in—he dug into it, and thank fuck, there was—he was so ready to satisfy Dan to the extremes. </p><p>Phil watched Dan try to tug his underwear to one side, giving up and taking them off. </p><p>“Everything still okay?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Blindly, he tugged his underwear down and pulled the condom onto himself, looking deeply into Dan’s eyes to assure everything really was okay.</p><p>The position they were in reminded Phil of when Dan had covered his face before showing himself out of drag. Even Dan’s expression was the same, and the way he was sat up, with horrible posture and his arms around his front.</p><p>Still, he managed to get Dan into his lap, his thighs spread wide to help move more easily.</p><p>“I’ll help you lower down, just keep your body nice and relaxed for me,” Phil said, meeting Dan halfway to slide past his hole. “Oh my god. Baby.”</p><p>He rolled his eyes back once he fully grasped that he was inside of Dan again, ready to help them both chase pure bliss. Phil started to smoothly thrust upward into his taut, inner walls—wondering if Dan was tightening on purpose to make him feel better.</p><p>The sight he opened his eyes to—Dan’s chest and face flushed as he leaned against the headboard again—was gorgeous. He didn’t even need to have his eyes fixated on Dan to know that.</p><p>Impulsively, Phil kissed Dan, hoping the intensity of how much he wanted him to enjoy would show. He held his arched back, hoping to make it easier to keep going.</p><p>Phil was completely okay with doing nearly all of the work—Dan was obviously not feeling like himself yet and all Phil wanted was to make it easy for him.</p><p>He gripped Dan’s ass to bounce him directly up and down, and occasionally Dan would roll his hips down to meet Phil’s length. One arm slipped to hold Phil’s shoulder and the other still scratched into the wooden headboard, his face lowered to moan into the pillow.</p><p>Silencing each sound with whatever he could—Phil’s shoulder, the pillow, his own arm—wasn’t comfortable for Dan, or at least Phil was positive it couldn’t have been. It had his neck craned awkwardly and uncomfortably. Phil gently tugged the hair on the back of his head to lean him back up.</p><p>“Don’t have to muffle yourself, baby,” he said. “Let me hear you. Please?”</p><p>Dan hesitantly backed away and nodded.</p><p>Phil was back to spreading him apart to thrust in easily and with some roughness he could only hope Dan liked. His voice was in shrill gasps as he was forced down, but he held onto the headboard and didn’t try to resist.</p><p>“Unh, unh—ah!” he whimpered, “Daddyyy.”</p><p>He was starting to meet Phil’s hips quickly and it was fucking hot. A harsh shiver went up Phil’s spine and he nearly climaxed just from one of Dan’s thrusts downwards alone. But he managed to make it with his fingers tightly pulling on his thighs and his lips delicate onto his neck until they came together and slowed down.</p><p>Once still and full, Dan gently rolled his hips a few more times and then leaned forward into Phil.</p><p>“I’ve got you,” Phil murmured, letting Dan completely rely on him to hold his body up from collapsing onto the mattress. </p><p>The discomfort of post-sex didn’t matter with Dan in his arms. He rubbed his back calmly, rocking him back and forth.</p><p>Dan mumbled something.</p><p>“Hmm?” Phil asked, reaching up to pet his hair.</p><p>“You can go, if you need to—or want to—“</p><p>“Now why would I leave?”</p><p>He didn’t say anything until Dan lifted his head up.</p><p>“Did I leave last time?” Phil asked him seriously.</p><p>“No…” Dan hesitantly answered.</p><p>“Then why would I leave this time?” he said, “Really, Dan, what’s wrong? Did something happen…? Do you not want to…”</p><p>“You’re right, it—it doesn’t matter. I’m overthinking it way too much. I’m sorry. I’ll just go get ready for bed,” Dan murmured, forcing a smile. “I’m making it too big of a deal. It’s nothing. Last time was fine, this time is fine, and no, I don’t want to stop seeing you.”</p><p>Phil slowly nodded. “Okay.”</p><p>Dan kissed him sweetly on the nose and got up from his lap. From the bathroom, he’d gotten a towel and cleaned them up so that they could comfortably sleep. </p><p>Phil had his phone in his hand but his head was turned to Dan, sitting on the edge of the mattress and rubbing sweet smelling lotion into his skin.</p><p>“Hey…”</p><p>Even though he wasn’t paying attention to his phone the slightest bit, Phil put his phone down to listen to Dan.</p><p>“I just wanted to thank you for coming by the club again…”</p><p>“Oh, yeah, of course,” Phil answered. The cap of the lotion popped shut and Dan was massaging the last of it into his skin, which was extremely tempting to touch.</p><p>“You know...you have a lot of the same people come in, for all different reasons…” Dan began to speak, “Some need a place to feel accepted, some need some comedic relief away from the stress of life, some visit for the same reason lonely men go to strip bars. With none of them, though, does an actual connection…come about, I suppose.”</p><p>“And I know this is only like, the second time you came to see the show and wound up leaving with me. I wasn’t expecting you to be there, but I was hoping you would be, and you were, and I really appreciate it. I know that I have friendships with the others...it’s just nice to have someone from the outside looking in that can still appreciate me for me, and that can be someone I actually look forward to…you know, come visit and stuff.”</p><p>Phil nodded, listening intently as Dan shuffled into the covers. Once he was settled, he stared up at the ceiling, then turned to smile at him.</p><p>“Are you going to try to visit every week?” he asked.</p><p>Phil smiled at him, “Sure.”</p><p>“Okay,” he grinned back.</p><p>Reaching his hand out, Phil caressed his face and the side of his body.</p><p>“Sleeping in your CKs as well?” he hummed as his fingertips ran over the fabric covering his hip bone. Dan dorkishly smiled and nodded.</p><p>“I’m not very tired, to be honest,” he said, “I feel better now. Less sad and nervous. More awake.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Phil murmured, “I’ll put something on TV.”</p><p>He kissed Dan with a loud smooching sound, finding the remote and randomly letting Family Guy play. Dan wanted to kiss again before he even got a chance to put the remote down, turning in towards him more than before and holding his jaw to kiss. These kisses were with smiles and soft laughs, instead of his wide, nervous eyes like before.</p><p>Phil had his arm around Dan, lightly holding his thigh, as they watched the screen, flipping through until settling on a random scary movie that was playing.</p><p>Instead of focusing on the killer chase one of the characters, he found himself gazing and thinking about Dan. How could someone so wonderful as he was ever be insecure about a single part of himself?</p><p>“Stop that,” Dan whispered, focused on the TV.</p><p>“What?” Phil hummed back. He placed a kiss gently on Dan’s neck.</p><p>“Like, looking at me like that,” he whispered again.</p><p>“You don’t need to whisper, I’m right here.”</p><p>Dan turned his head, rolling his eyes and clicking his tongue.</p><p>“Whatever. I’m going to sleep.”</p><p>“Okay, I will too then,” Phil said, clicking off the TV, then settling into bed. </p><p>He laid down on his back as Dan turned off the lamp beside him. Expectantly, he waited for Dan to come lay beside him, but saw that he was instead laying on his back at first.</p><p>“You okay?”</p><p>Dan looked up, then turned around to lay beside him.</p><p>“Yeah, sorry. Haven’t slept beside someone in a week.”</p><p>“I can give you space, if you want.”</p><p>He shook his head. Phil heard the sheets ruffling around, then felt Dan’s arm across his chest.</p><p>“Here,” Phil mumbled, lifting his arm to allow Dan to get closer. He then rested his arm on Dan’s back. “Night.”</p><p>“Night, Phil.”</p><p>-</p><p>Phil was just about ready to leave when Dan spoke out.</p><p>“Wait,” he went up to him, “I want to, um, put your number in my phone. Or vica versa. Just in case, you know—like if there’s anything for the Pride thing you might want to know about, or something—“</p><p>Chuckling a little bit, Phil nodded, “Yeah, that’s fine.”</p><p>Dan opened a new contact and handed his phone to Phil.</p><p>“Remind me to ask you for a contact picture, too,” Dan mentioned as Phil typed in his information.</p><p>“Okay,” Phil said, typing his name as simply ‘Phil.’</p><p>When Dan got his phone back, he watched him add the geeky emoji with glasses and a blue heart, then save his contact information.</p><p>Unknown Number (Maybe: Dan): hey this is dan</p><p>Phil added Dan’s contact, awkwardly waiting for Dan to leave.</p><p>“Right,” he said, the rosy patch on his cheek bright pink. “Be seeing you?”</p><p>“Yeah, of course,” Phil opened the door for him, watching him walk the wrong way. “Elevator’s the other way.”</p><p>“Right!” he squeaked, speed walking the other direction.</p>
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